Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience
by Akane Kuran
Summary: Two years to tell someone you love them isn't enough. Being insanely bi-curious AND uptight is never easy. Being the two women caught in the middle is definitely stressful. Rated T for hate crimes, depressingness, swearing and sexiness!
1. After a year

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

* * *

It had been a year since the incident, the incident that involved a castle on the outskirts of a small town in Ohio. When sexualities were questioned and cherries were forcefully popped.

But even after that experience, Brad and Janet Majors were perfectly normal. Brad had started a small car dealership that brought in some serious bacon, and Janet was a pretty damn good housewife.

Except until they had a surprise visit from two all-too familiar faces in the middle of the night.

* * *

It was early May, the voices were clearly heard before the knock at the door,

"This seems creepy."

"Shut up, I see her."

Janet unlocked the door, looking through the peephole, she couldn't make them out exactly, she could hear that they were two young women, around 20-24, one of the voices was high-pitched, the kind of voice that was funny for two hours before it got old, and a quieter one, gently accented and subtly intoxicating,

Janet opened the door...

Janet found herself running up the stairs to the room she and Brad shared, he was still asleep.

"Brad, Brad, wake up, you'll never believe who's at the door!"

"The Easter Bunny?" he moaned facetiously, "Janet, who the hell would be at the door at this ungodly hour?"

"No. No, just come downstairs." Brad hauled ass out of bed and followed Janet down the stairs to the living room, Brad was completely unprepared for what he saw.

* * *

"Magenta and Columbia? What're you doing here?" Brad questioned at the two women sitting on the plastic-covered living room couch, Columbia's hair was longer and Magenta had lost weight, Janet was beaming.

"We just thought we'd drop by, we were in the area, and, well, I guess that explains it." said Columbia,

"So, are the two of you a couple or something?" Brad questioned, rubbing his eyes, still pissed at Janet.

"Oh no, we're both single. And you two?"

"Oh, we had a spring wedding..." said Janet, smiling,

"That's nice." Magenta said quietly, "Do you mind if I use your shower for a few minutes?"

"Of course not, you can use the one in the master bedroom, upstairs, third door on the right."

"Thank you."

As soon as Magenta was upstairs, Columbia began to spill it, "Okay, you should know something, Magenta and I were never in the area. The reason we're here is... Magenta's sick."

"She looks fine..." said Janet,

"No, I mean... Well, 3 weeks ago, she kept blacking out, I didn't know what was causing it, we went to a hospital, and it turns out she has two years. Magenta's terminal."

Janet's breath caught, "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay, but, she doesn't know, so, please don't bring it up."

"What does she have?"

"It's an illness limited to Transylvanians, because of genetics, it's rare, which makes it incurable. She's the only one in her family to have it, and I'm all she has in terms of people who can effectively take care of her, so if it's okay, can we stay here?"

"Of course." Janet whispered, "Columbia, I'm so sorry..."

"I brought her here because I wanted her to be able to see y'all while she still can, next year will become a downward spiral, the last few months are always the hardest. I'd really appreciate if the two of you could be with us during that period of time."

Janet nodded. "Yes, yes, Columbia." Janet started to sob, "I'm so so sorry."

"The only other option was to take her to Transsexual, they're farther ahead medically, the disease would still be incurable, but they'd be able to prescribe better painkillers and maybe even give her longer to live."

"How did we not notice..." Janet sobbed,

"You did, she's lost a lot of weight, she's pale, I mean more than usual, and the debilitation will become more apparent over the next few hours."

"Columbia, if you don't mind my asking, what are the last few months going to be like?"

"She'll be semi-lucid for the most part, she won't be comatose but the disease becomes more painful as it progresses. And it screws up her immune system, she'll get sick a lot. Even now..."

"Oh, that's awful, Brad, darling, be a dear and take Magenta and Columbia's bags upstairs to the guest room." Brad stood up passively, picked up the two suitcases and dragged them up the stairs.

... Magenta was standing in the hall wrapped in a towel. Naked. Brad stopped when he saw her, she turned around,

"Oh God, I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be streaking in your home."

"That's fine." Brad noticed what she was staring at. The wide window that overlooked the back of the house. The view was astounding, most of Denton was visible, and luckily for Magenta, 'most of Denton' couldn't see her.

"Your house is beautiful."

"Oh, uh, thanks." There was a long pause, Brad glanced nervously around the hallway and Magenta cast her focus at the carpet, her hair fell into her face, "So, uh, the guest room is just down this hall."

Brad began to proceed down the hall, Magenta followed, Brad set the bags on the bed and Magenta sat next to them, Brad began to wonder how this woman, this beautiful young woman, with her flyaway red curls and butterfly-flight of a shy smile, could possibly be dying by degrees. "I should go." Brad covered,

"I should get dressed." Magenta said quietly, standing up, slowly, almost weakly, a subtle reminder that this wasn't an average conversation.

Brad half-ran downstairs and hid in the basement until Janet made dinner.

* * *

Brad snuck into the guest room that night, Magenta was sleeping in the bed in the middle of the room, Columbia was lying on the floor on an air mattress. Brad touched Magenta's hair, it was possibly the softest thing he'd ever touched in his life. He stared at her for all of two minutes until she opened her eyes,

"I sincerely hope you weren't feeling me up."

"Oh, no, no I wasn't, I just- I just-"

"You should leave."

"I have a question first."

"Get it over with."

"How do you feel?"

"About what?"

"No, like, physically..."

Magenta sat up higher in bed and crossed her arms vindictively.

"She told you?"

"Look, I'm so sorry-"

"Sorry for what? Columbia thinks I'm really pissed about being single, but it's not a problem, really."

"Oh, right. That's it."

"Please leave."

"Okay... Okay, yeah, alright."

Magenta lay back down and Brad ran away down the hall.

...

Columbia woke up before anyone else the next morning, she minced around the guest room for a few hours, trying to clear her head. On one hand was Magenta, incredibly sick and not going to make it, and on the other hand, herself. Ever since arriving in Denton, she'd been overcome with an odd desire, a yearning that she hadn't felt since middle school. She couldn't label it, but it was there. Stroking Magenta's long curls one last time, Columbia went downstairs to make breakfast.

...

Voices drifted upstairs to the master bedroom when Brad was on the verge of waking up,

"Columbia, this is delicious!"

"Well, there _is _a secret ingredient."

"Love?"

"Lard!" Brad heard Janet gagging. He stood up and started to get dressed, finally walking down the hall, Magenta was wearing a white dress and no apparent panties. Standing in the sunrise and staring blankly.

"Your planet doesn't have sunrises, does it?" Brad inquired softly, Magenta leapt back,

"Oh, no, we don't." she smiled a little bit, "It's almost always dark there. The lightest it gets is, like, a weird lavender color..."

Brad smiled and inhaled deeply, he was unprepared for the smell of some kind of perfume. The scent was weird, in a good way, almost vanilla-y, warm, definitely, so warm it made Brad's stomach churn in an odd, horny way, and it was RADIATING from her. Brad tried to look cool and leaned on one of his hands against the glass wall, before he knew it there was a loud shattering noise, Magenta was screaming and his hand was warm and dripping.

...

"Brad, you need to go to the emergency room." Magenta capitulated, holding Brad's hand in a blue towel that was quickly becoming red,

"I'm okay, it's fine."

"Shut up, we need to go before you pass out."

"It's just a cut."

"You have glass shards sticking in your hand! YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN' PIN-CUSHION!"

"Magenta, look, I'm okay."

"Okay? You might need a blood transfusion! Okay my ass..."

"You don't drive, how are we supposed to get to a hospital?"

"I don't know... CALL A DAMN AMBULANCE!"

"I highly doubt we need to call an ambulance because I have a cut."

"Clearly you've never been to where _I'm_ from."

"I can honestly say no to that one."

* * *

Columbia found Janet in the backyard with a cigarette behind her ear. The smell of burnt hair was pervasive. Janet looked up and smirked,

"I know this looks bad, but I can explain-"

"Oh, that's fine. I'm not opposed to others smoking, Magenta does it all the time."

Janet was silent, "Is there anything that Brad and I can do to help? You know, when it starts to get bad..."

Columbia smiled, "We'll get to that when the time comes."

Columbia sat down next to Janet as the sun beat down. The moment was interrupted when Brad and Magenta ran outside with Brad's hand spraying blood across the porch.


	2. Illness and Bicuriosity

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

* * *

"BRAD, ARE YOU A MORON? YOU DON'T LEAN ON WINDOWS! AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE RENOVATIONS COST ME?"

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN YOUR SICK-ASS MOUTH AT ME, YOU HEAR ME, JANET? SHUT! UP!"

"BRAD, YOU'RE SO FORCEFUL! YOU SHOULD COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY THAT I HAVEN'T CALLED THE POLICE ON YOU, WITH YOUR CRAZY SEX... AND YOUR...YOUR...GLASSES!"

"COLUMBIA, PULL OVER, THIS WOMAN IS DRIVING ME NUTS, ME AND MAGENTA CAN WALK TO THE HOSPITAL!"

Brad opened the passenger-side door with his working hand and rolled like a spy into the ditch. He landed in a puddle. Columbia screeched the car to a stop,

"Does he do this often?" Columbia questioned

"No, he's never done this before."

"Well, then there's hope, lots and lots of hope..." Magenta scoffed, "I guess he's not completely nuts." She got out of the car and ran into the ditch, "You can go back to the house." Columbia shrugged and made a U-turn back to the house. Magenta waded deeper into the ditch and found Brad sulking on a pile of weeds.

"You don't wanna be here. I might lean on a window and kill someone."

"I'm not pissed at you."

"Really?"

"Of course not. You didn't do- UGH-"

Magenta ran a few feet away and began to retch into a clump of cattails. Brad stood up and stood over her, gently touching her lower back,

"Are you alright- is that blood?"

"It's okay, this happens a lot, and I'm fine, I never get sick."

"We need to go home-"

"But your hand-!"

"It's fine, I used to get into fights when I was a kid, and I ALWAYS LOST."

"Okay. I'm gonna need you to carry me back, though."

* * *

Janet and Columbia weren't home when Brad and Magenta got back. After a few hours though, there was a knock on the door, Magenta answered. And then screamed.

"BRAD, GET IN HERE!"

"What's wrong?"

"JUST HURRY UP!"

Brad ran into the foyer.

Columbia and Janet were bleeding and bruised.

...

"So, start from the beginning. What happened?"

"Okay." Columbia began, "I was hungry so we went and got lattes, then before I knew it, we were shoving out tongues down each other's throats... and then they beat the crap out of us..."

"It was an out of body experience." said Janet, "But then- then we were getting beaten up."

"Oh God, are you two okay?"

"We're fine, really... just... a little confused..." Janet whispered, "OH BRAD I'M SO SORRY!" Janet launched herself onto Brad and Magenta looked at her feet. Columbia rolled her eyes.

"Janet, nothing happened, anyway, I kissed you, I was hungover from last night, that's it!"

* * *

Magenta walked into the guest room, Columbia was sitting on the bed, obviously in tears.

"Collie...? Are you okay in here?"

"...Janet hates me."

"What are you, twelve? Why do you care? She's a try-hard bitch, why do you care?"

Columbia looked up, "Because up until now I thought I was straight."

Magenta smirked, "We both know you're anything but straight."

"How?"

"Because you kissed me last year."

"I was high."

"Please, we both know that's not true."

"Oh yeah?"

"Columbia. You were smoking actual grass. Like the kind you find on people's lawns."

"It's a wonderful stimulant."

"Bullshit."

"Okay, I admit I'm an active lesbian, but... why Janet?"

"Because she's taken. It's a medically proven fact that single people are always more attracted to people who are taken."

"Like you and Brad?"

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

Magenta left Columbia to drown her problems in chocolate and went into the hall, Brad was there.

"Okay."

"Hi...uh, is she okay in there?"

"Yeah, just, she's a little bi-curious."

"Oh, I see. Janet's... a little pissed, she feels violated."

"Well, tell her that Columbia doesn't mean anything by it."

"I'll do that."

Brad stared at Magenta for a while. His eyes drifted down to her chest and she seemed to notice, she backed up about a step. He internally snapped at himself to stop being a pervert, but it didn't seem to work. Before he knew it, Brad was on top of Magenta.

...

"So you only did it because she's terminally ill right?"

"Well, Janet-"

"Don't you 'Well Janet' me, you kissed her, you were on top of her!"

"Janet, she was enticing, she's a very beautiful woman, you've seen her, you'd know a beautiful woman when you saw one."

"SHUT UP, SHE PRACTICALLY ATTACKED ME!"

"Janet, stop, you know, you're obnoxious. I don't know what possessed me to get on top of Magenta, but I'm sure as hell glad I did. Now do you mind telling me what possessed _you_ to behave the way you did with Columbia?"

"Well..."

"Why did you do it?"

"Uh..."

"I'm waiting..."

"JUST BECAUSE, OKAY!"

"Just because? Just because, Janet, is that the best you can do? That's the excuse that most five-year olds use when they steal the last cookie! Just because, my God..."

"Brad, please! Just... leave me alone to die!" Janet threw herself melodramatically onto the bed and Brad left the room. Columbia ran into him in the hallway.

"Brad, hi, how is she?"

"She's going crazy. And I kissed Magenta."

"I know, she told me. She asked me why you kissed her and now I'm going to tell her. I'm going to tell her she's sick."

"No no no no no, Columbia, you don't know what you're doing, please don't do this to her, she doesn't deserve it..."

"Brad, she needs to find out before it's too late, we need to ease her into acceptance."

"Acceptance? She's 24, she's dying..."

"Brad, I have to tell her. Please let me." Brad threw up his hands in defeat and Columbia went into the guest room. Brad pressed his ear to the door as Columbia went in. He heard hushed voices, sobbing, and finally a choked, anguished sob that almost sounded like a scream.

Brad threw the door open, Magenta was sitting on the bed in tears, Columbia was leaving, Brad sat next to her. The room was silent until Magenta opened her mouth,

"Is it true? It is, isn't it? I'm going to die." Brad felt tears stinging his eyes, "I can't die..."

"You know what?" Brad whispered, "I'm sure you can make it, with medication and everything you need, I promise you won't die."

* * *

Brad woke up the next morning to find Magenta sleeping next to him, she had come into his bed the previous night and her face was still warm and damp with tears. Brad kissed her forehead and stood up, going into the hall. Columbia was standing on the other side of the hallway near the broken window. Brad approached her from behind,

"Columbia?"

She turned around, "What?"

"You need to tell me what to expect. You told her, now tell me, what's going to happen?"

Columbia inhaled. "During the last few months, she'll become paralyzed from the waist down, her immune system will crash, she'll bleed a lot, she'll be in pain, disoriented, she'll want to die." Columbia was glaring by this point, "And she had to find all this out after your stupid one-night stand."


	3. All hers

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

* * *

Brad was horrified by what was happening. He had never had to experience terminal illness before.

He went back into one of the many guest rooms, Magenta had removed the majority of her clothes and was still asleep. Brad felt his eyes travelling over her delicate pale body and firmly told his hand to stay where it was before it felt her up. Magenta stirred out of reach and Columbia walked in.

"Hi Brad."

"Columbia... oh, yeah, hi."

"How is she?"

"She's still asleep, she came in and slept with me last night."

"Was she okay?"

"Yeah, I mean... yeah, she was okay. But she threw up."

"Threw up? Was there any blood?"

"...kind of..."

Columbia bent down and gently shook Magenta awake.

"What...?"

"You're bleeding again?"

"So? People do that. Get out." Columbia began to back out of the room,

"I'll leave you two."

* * *

Janet was driving. She always drove to clear her head. After everything that had happened, the tension in the house, the mean things that Brad would obviously be inclined to throw around, Columbia guilting her with the cluelessly sick domestic she was dragging around and Magenta herself staring at everyone lovingly with her big, stupid, terminal eyes. Her light blue Prius smelled like paper and french fries, the seat was sculpted to the shape of her ass and every time she drove it, the headlights seemed to glow a little brighter. The car's name was Rocky.

Janet skidded Rocky to a halt outside Bobby's House of Class Meat Products. It was under new management now, the Farley Flavours Company had taken it over, but Janet had been going to 'Bobby's' since she was eight, and decided she wanted to keep it that way.

She opened the front door, LouAnne was behind the counter handing a bag of fries to a teenage girl who was holding the leash of a small dog.

"Hey Jan."

"Hi, LouAnne. The usual, please."

LouAnne slapped a little piece of apple pie onto a plate. "So you and Brad still goin' strong?"

"I don't know, we had a falling out. It seems he's found somebody else."

"Ohhh, she pretty?"

"No. She's dying."

"Of what?"

Janet stopped for a second. She couldn't exactly bring up 'Transylvanian Tay Sachs' as she called it at a time like this.

"Something genetic, romantic and incurable. That, and she has big tits."

"Oo-wee, a well endowed competitor. Tough break, Weiss. What's she look like?"

Janet took a breath, "Red hair. Green eyes, pale-"

"Sounds like a Dolly Parton song." LouAnne smirked, "_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeene-_ What about her, uh, body, she one of them skinny bitches?"

"Skinny on morphine. With boobs and an ass. And red freaking hair. And she smells like sex and sugar. And hyperglycemia."

"She smells like diabetes?"

"Essentially. And did I mention she's terminally ill? And Brad finds it sexy."

"Steal her painkillers."

"Lou, that'd be mean."

"Yes. That's the point."

...

Janet went back to the house after a few hours. Brad was standing in the living room holding his head in his hands,

"Brad?"

He whipped around, "I genuinely hope you had a great time."

"Great time? What happened, is Magenta okay?"

"No. No, Janet, she's not okay."

"Well, what happened, where is she?"

"She's in the guest room where I slept last night."

"Will you just tell me what happened?"

"She... she, my God, she had a seizure, she stopped breathing-"

"Oh Lord, is she okay?"

"She's fine now, but you left."

"You know what-"

"No, I don't know. I don't know why you would think you could just leave when she's that sick."

"Brad, she doesn't know-"

"Yes she does! Columbia told her! I lied to her, I told her that she would be able to get better with medication, she's not getting better, and the only medication she's on is painkillers. Palliative medication. She just had a seizure, and you were acting like you could care less."

"Brad, she's not a child. She doesn't need someone to take care of her every other second."

"But she will. She will, Janet, just wait, in about 18 months, she's going to literally deteriorate."

"Brad, I'm sorry."

"Don't even- just... God..."

Brad left Janet in the living room and went back upstairs. Janet followed him at a safe distance until Brad turned around,

"Brad, calm down-"

"Janet, get away."

"No, I refuse."

Brad groaned and continued into the guest room. Magenta was sitting on her bed holding her head in her hands. Janet sat next to her,

"Are you okay?"

"Fine. I'm fine."

Janet caught a quick glare from Columbia. It had become apparent that everyone hated her.

* * *

Columbia found herself in the living room at around midnight. Brad and Magenta were somewhere in the house being quiet and submissive, and she could care less who Janet was screwing at that hour of the night.

At that moment, Janet sat down across the room.

"I'm sorry." Janet whispered. "I'm sorry I was such a heinous bitch earlier."

"It's fine." Columbia whispered back, "It's just that, that's never happened before. I've never had to deal with something like that." she paused, "Magenta's like my family. She's never judged me, or done anything bad to me. And now she's dying. Just like that, she's sick and she's dying."

"Again, I can't express how sorry I am. It's horrible that that's happening. I guess, I just kind of felt numb when I found out that she and Brad had been sleeping together. But she deserves him, they're both wonderful people. I love them both, I mean, Magenta still scares the living shit out of me. But she's a beautiful person. And it's really going to hurt all of us when her two years are up."

"She might not make it to two years. In fact, this could be the second year, I don't know, you never really do know. She could have been sick last year and we just didn't know. We'll just have to wait and see."

"Is there a chance that she can get better?"

"Absolutely not. It's impossible. In some cases, the last few months are less painful, but Magenta developed it young, so it's unlikely that there will be any chance of complete relief."

"What about the medication?"

"It's mostly placebo. It usually only relieves about an eighth of any physical distress. And then there's the paralysis."

"Paralysis?"

"The illness shuts her body down slowly and painfully, and she'll be paralyzed from the waist down. But my cousin, who had cerebral palsy, died two years ago, and my aunt has volunteered to send us anything we might need."

"I'm sorry about your cousin."

"Don't be."

* * *

Janet went back upstairs and found Brad and Magenta sitting on the carpeted floor in front of the window. Brad was sitting upright and Magenta was almost laying on him, her legs were splayed next to her. Janet bit back some tears and ducked into the next room, which just happened to be the washroom, pushing her hair back and pressing her ear against the door, she could vaguely make out their voices.

"Are you scared to die?"

"A little. It's more not having enough time, what I'll miss..."

"You're not terminal." Janet heard Brad lie. "You're taking medication for it."

"I'm just scared. Like, that it won't work."

"It'll be okay. I promise."

"Sometimes I think about my funeral, even before I got sick, if anyone would cry, or come for that matter."

Janet heard Brad pause, she could tell he was smiling sympathetically, it was something about his breathing that changed,

"Magenta, if you die, I promise I'll come to your funeral. And cry." Janet heard Magenta burst into violent tears. Finally realizing that she, a grown woman, was eavesdropping on the conversation of a very very sad couple. The awful truth slowly dawned on her as she pressed her ear against the door one more time.

"Brad, I love you, I love you so much-" Janet heard Magenta crying harder, she could tell that Brad was trying to get her to stop,

"Ssh, I love you too. It's only been a few days, but I know I love you."

Janet heard Magenta squeak, literally squeak, "What time is it?" she whispered,

"The sun's going down, see?"

"It can't be early, can it?"

"No, it's about 7. Are you tired?"

"Not really, it's just- the medication- it makes my head spin..." Magenta paused, "Can we have bathtub sex?"

Brad started to laugh, "Of course, I'll get it ready, you just stay here and keep still so you don't get dizzy."

A film of shiny sweat beaded across Janet's top lip. She couldn't leave, but she didn't want to be trapped into watching live porn either, she was stuck. Completely stuck. And Brad was going to kill her.

Brad opened the door and Janet climbed into a closet, he turned the hot water on. It was like God was taking a break from being God when Janet inhaled a nose-ful of room spray.

"HEH-HEH-ACHOO!" Janet fell out of the closet, the door swung open as she hit the floor, "Okay, that hurt like a bitch."

"Janet, what the hell?"

"Brad, come on..."

"Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?"

"Well-"

"Janet..." Brad pointed into the hall. "Out."

* * *

Magenta closed her eyes and leaned into Brad's shoulder, submerged in the warm water, Brad ran a hand down her back,

"You feel any better?"

"I guess, now that we finally got around to this." Magenta giggled weakly, "You did good, Janet must know more than we give her credit for."

"Janet doesn't know anything. She's never going to get _this_ again." Magenta buried her face deeper into his shoulder, "It's all yours now."


	4. The Washing Machine Confrontation

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

1 week later.

...

...

Magenta sat up and felt her stomach churn and her head spin again. She shuddered and leaned back against the toilet. She had been throwing up since the morning, it was around noon, and she was still nauseous. She took a towel off of a hook on the back of the door and folded it under her head. If she didn't keep still, she was going to hurl again.

The door opened. Brad walked in.

"Okay, you're lying on the bathroom floor and you're sweating, are you sure you're okay?"

"I just... don't feel very good..."

"Have you been throwing up?" Magenta nodded, and she threw her head into the toilet again and retched, Brad sat down next to her and gently rubbed her back, "It's okay..."

Magenta leaned back, "It's not. We had sex last week..."

"How could I forget?"

"BRAD! ARE YOU AN IDIOT?" Magenta stood up, Brad braced himself for anything regarding pregnancy, her face softened, and she allowed her voice to squeak out, "I'm dying..."

"You're not dying... It's the... medication. That's how you know it's working..."

"Really?

Brad nodded dishonestly, "If you keep throwing up, you could be better in about a year."

* * *

Janet went outside to go for a drive but Columbia stopped her.

"Do you even care about the climate?"

"Excuse me?"

"Cars kill the environment."

"Actually, this is a Prius... It's one of those clean cars, that's why I got it, I drive when I'm stressed out. Like, you know how people shop... or suck their thumbs like on My Strange Addiction... or do drugs."

Columbia shrugged, "Whatever works." There was a long pause, "So, Brad and Magenta are really- oh, right..."

"Nah, it's fine, I'm over that asshole anyway."

"Well, I really think that they're becoming a pretty good couple, I mean, it's important for Magenta to have someone, just someone to... you know... someone to keep her distracted... I mean do you really think he actually likes her?"

"They had sex. Like, bathtub sex, with bubbles and candles and sex... Sexy sex..."

"Shit... He's been telling her she's getting better, that her painkillers are live-saving medication... It's horrible."

"That's how Brad is. He'll do that, it's not horrible exactly, he's lying so he doesn't have to hurt her. I mean, it's sweet in it's own weird way..."

Columbia shrugged and ran a hand over Rocky's blue paint job, "Pretty nice car, though... Does it drive nicely?"

"He. It's a he."

"Okay..."

"And He drives like a dream." Janet was about to continue her sentence when she noticed something. Columbia's hair was amazing, it was short but in a good way, it was shiny... and the way the wind blew it was... just fucking insane...

"I used to have a Toyota, but my dad kind of repossessed it after I almost killed the family dog. I was twelve."

"Your parents let you drive at that age?"

"Pretty much, they were kind of hillbillies, but, like, not asshole hillbillies, nice hillbillies, they just didn't have so many rules and they weren't strict."

Janet thought that over. Her parents were suburban hicks. And to a horrible extent. Finally, without conscious will, she choked out,

"They used my bathroom."

"What?"

"BRAD AND MAGENTA GOT THEIR DAMN STDS ALL UP IN MY BATHTUB!" Janet dove into Rocky's passenger seat and before she knew it, Columbia was handing her a bottle of something alcoholic.

"Drink it."

"I don't drink alcohol..."

"Now you do."

* * *

Brad pushed Magenta's hair out of her face, she had fallen asleep next to him on the living room couch, not that he blamed her, the painkillers will debilitating and she was going through them like water. He began to notice a few things, the first was a long scar running from her eyebrow to her shoulder, like she'd been cut. With a switchblade. More cuts covered about every inch of her body, it was hard to miss once you noticed them. It looked like her legs were mismatched, Brad glanced at the heels she always seemed to have one, sure enough, one was higher than the other.

It was creepy.

He almost knew that Columbia and or Janet would probably walk in right at that second, he glanced out of a window. And almost choked out of shock.

Columbia was on top of Janet. Janet was laying on the hood of her car. Brad hated that stupid car. They were making out. Brad snapped a picture on his phone and giggled like a crazy person.

"This is so going on Facebook..." he snickered, kissing Magenta lightly on the cheek and pressing the 'Upload' button...

...

...

Magenta woke up a few hours later, the room was blurry and her head hurt. Brad was holding a MacBook in his lap next to her and cracking himself up.

"What the hell..." Magenta whined, sitting up and looking at the computer, he was on Facebook, a picture of Columbia and Janet laying on the hood of a blue Prius was projected on the screen. Sure enough, Brad had tagged **Columbia** **Corcoran** and **Janet Weiss** in the picture.

"They've been getting each other pregnant out there!"

"You know they're going to catch you."

"Don't care."

"Columbia can beat the living-" the door swung open. Brad froze and Magenta smirked.

"The two of you look sheepish." said Janet.

"No sheep here!" Brad quickly covered.

"What're you looking at?"

"You're gonna like this!"

"MAGENTA." Brad warned. Magenta moved over, pulling a blanket around her shoulders and smiling. Janet made a dive for the laptop and grabbed it, hurrying across the room. She froze and turned to look at Brad.

"You. Fucking. Bastard."

"I thought you were going to say that."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"You were making out on the hood of a car, that's kind of asking for it."

SMACK!

Janet slapped Brad across the face. Magenta's mouth fell open and Columbia almost screamed. Janet glowered.

"You...BITCH!" Brad turned to Magenta and Columbia, "Excuse me, I have to talk to Janet in private for a second." Magenta stood up and practically dragged Columbia away. He turned back to Janet.

"I can't believe it, WE HAVE GUESTS!"

"You posted a lesbian picture of me!"

"So?"

"So I'm not a lesbian! I married you! It's not right."

"Janet, that's just homophobic and disgusting."

"Because you're gay?"

"I'm not gay, Janet, you can like gay people and not be gay!"

"I'm a Christian, I'm not a lesbian. What if my parents see that picture?"

"Shut the fuck up, Janet. Actually, how can you be a lesbian when yuo're DATING YOUR CAR?"

"I AM NOT DATING MY CAR!"

"YOU NAMED IT ROCKY! It's like that movie Christine, it's creepy. How many times have you fucked the thing?"

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR MISSING HIM! Just wait, Brad Majors, when Magenta dies, I'd like to see what you name after her. The oven? The washing machine? Are you gonna just grind up against the spin cycle?"

"Shut up, you stupid whore."

* * *

"Columbia, she's not worth it."

"How can you say that?"

"Because she's a bitch, you think it was my idea to come here in the first place?"

"...I don't know what to do..."

"It's okay, baby."

Columbia glanced at Magenta, "Baby? I'm not a child. I'm not even that much younger than you."

"You're only 21, if we were in elementary school I'd still be patronizing you."

Columbia hugged Magenta harder.

"Janet hates me."

"No she doesn't. She's just denying her feelings."

"But she's the girl-next-door! She's not going to feel the same way."

"Okay, if you insist."

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO AGREE WITH ME!"

"Are you using me to hear what you want to hear?"

Columbia burst into tears again.

"Maybe I really am going to hell."

"Columbia. Don't say that."

"But what if it's true?"

"It's not true!"

* * *

Magenta came back downstairs a few minutes later to throw up again. Brad was waiting there,

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. She... she just... she's upset, about Janet."

"Why?"

"She really likes her. I mean, _likes_ her. Where is Janet, anyway?"

"She went for a drive."

Magenta nodded, then turned white and ran into the bathroom.


	5. One on the Way

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

"OH GOD... OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD..."

Columbia heard Magenta screaming down the hall. She ran to find her,

"What the hell, what's wrong with you?"

"No no no no no no no no no no..."

"What? Just tell me!"

Magenta held out a white stick, unmistakable.

"Columbia. I'm pregnant."

* * *

"Janet, you're need some serious help!"

"SHUT UP BRAD!"

"That's the most disgusting thing-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Go fuck Columbia again!"

"It'd be better than talking to you! How 'bout you go fuck your slutty little whore-girlfriend?"

"Don't you dare say that about M-"

"Magenta? Have you _seen_ her? She's a disgusting whore! SHE'S REPULSIVE! PROBABLY CRAWLING WITH STDS!"

"You bitch! She's dying, you can't say that-"

"SHE'S A DISGUSTING, INCESTUOUS SLUT! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF SHE'S DYING! SHE'S A SLUT! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?"

"Magenta is beautiful, and I like her and she's never been a bitch to me ever! SHE GOES ABOVE AND BEYOND ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR ME!"

"GROW UP, BRAD! SURE SHE'S GOT A NICE ASS, BUT SHE'S A WHORE! SHE MAKES MONEY OFF OF HER ASS!"

"YOU ARE SUCH A JEALOUS BITCH! YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME BACK AND IT'S NOT WORKING!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Brad Majors, you hear me? Fuck you for flattering yourself!"

Columbia sat down next to Magenta on the floor outside the kitchen. Magenta had her ear pressed against the door,

"How long have they been yelling back and forth?"

"About an hour."

"Can you hear anything?"

"No, just loud sounds. It's something about yesterday, though, I can tell."

"Oh my God oh God oh God oh God-"

"Don't hyperventilate, if you pass out I'm not dealing with it."

"I should never have kissed her."

"Shut up, they're coming!" Magenta stood up and ran into the downstairs washroom, Columbia followed as Brad and Janet came storming out of the kitchen.

"WHAT HAS THAT WHORE EVER DONE FOR YOU?"

"MORE THAN YOU HAVE!"

"WHAT, FUCKED YOU THE WAY YOU WANT? BRAD, YOU'RE SO SHALLOW!"

"Oh, _I'm_ shallow? I'M SHALLOW? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?"

"I HEAR MYSELF PERFECTLY FINE! I'M NOT SHALLOW!"

"YES! YOU! ARE!"

"I'M GOING OUT!"

"HAVE FUN ON THE CORNER, JANET!"

"FUCK YOU!"

Magenta heard the door slam and the sound of Rocky's engine revving.

"Columbia, stay here."

"What?"

"Just stay here." Magenta opened the door, Brad was sitting at the dining room table, she could see a few tears glittering in his eyes. She sat down across from him.

"I'm sorry you had to hear all that." Brad paused to dry a few tears. "I could hear Columbia mouth-breathing outside the door."

"She does that. Are you sure you're okay?"

"She was a bitch anyway."

"She's coming back though, you need to fix this."

"I already took the picture off Facebook, what else is there to do?"

Magenta sat down next to him, "Just apologize again."

"Did you hear what she was saying about you?"

"Yes, I did, but that's no reason-"

"I can't let her just say those things about you."

"Brad, it's fine, you just need to fix your marriage while you still can."

"What if I don't want to? What if I have no interest whatsoever in fixing my marriage?" Brad turned to Magenta, "You're all I want. I love you, do you not understand that?"

"Honestly, I don't. We had a one-night stand last week, a one-night stand."

"I remember everyone who I sleep with!"

"But you're not in love with me, you're still high off the adrenaline."

"There was no adrenaline, it was just us-"

"Please don't do this, not right now, I can't deal with it anymore, you're not in love with me!"

"How do you know that?"

"BECAUSE I DO!" Magenta fell silent, "I...uh..." Magenta turned white and started to cough violently,

"Are you gonna be sick?"

"No- This happens all the time-"

"You're not breathing..."

"I'm fine!" Brad put a hand on Magenta's back, he started to sweat and pulled her closer, closer until she was in his lap. "Brad, please, I'm okay."

* * *

"Hey Jan!"

"LouAnne."

"Oh Gosh, what's wrong? Did Hospice Whore get you down?"

"No. Her slutty lesbian friend."

"Ooh, a lesbian! I was a lesbian once, for a while, we're all God's children, she'll get better."

"Better?"

"I did."

"Did you ever kiss your friend's illicit-boyfriend's wife?"

"Illicit boyfriend? This little dyke is friends with Hospice Whore?"

"They're like this." Janet crossed her fingers,

"Tough break, Jan. No seriously, what about Brad, what's he been doing about this?"

"Well, fucking his little terminal mistress, posting lesbian pictures on Facebook, and being an asshole, so... not much in the helpful department."

"Shit."

"I should probably go before my bad luck rubs off on you."

"Arrite, see ya, Jan."

* * *

Janet pulled into the driveway to see Brad standing on the yard. She felt a cold sweat break out across her upper lip,

"Shit." she grumbled, tripping out of the car, "Say a word and I run you over." she snapped,

Brad glared back, "They left. Magenta and Columbia left."

Janet stopped in her tracks, "They what?"

"She's running out of time, Janet. Do you realize that?"

"Fuck off. Just, go to hell."

"THEY LEFT BECAUSE COLUMBIA DIDN'T WANT HER TO DIE WITH YOU AROUND! SHE SAID YOU WOULD RUIN WHATEVER TIME MAGENTA HAD LEFT!"

"WELL... LESBIANS ARE MEAN! THEY'RE BITCHES!"

"YOU FUCKING HOMOPHOBE!"

"THAT'S A COMPLIMENT TO ME, YOU DICK!"

Brad was just about to yell back when he heard his phone ringing in his pocket, he swore under his breath and glanced at the caller ID.

_Magenta A._

"Hello?"

"BRAD, YOU NEED TO COME TO THE HOSPITAL!" screamed a high-pitched, panicked voice on the other end, Columbia,

"Why are you screaming?"

"YOU NEED TO COME TO THE E.R, SHE'S BLEEDING OUT!"

"What- Wait, what?"

"SHE'S BLEEDING OUT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG!"

"It's okay, I'm coming, I'm coming-"

"Brad?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Please don't bring Janet."

* * *

Brad ran into the E.R of Denton Public Hospital, Columbia was waiting there,

"Brad, you got here-"

"Where is she, where is she, is she okay?"

"They took her away, I'm not sure where she is..."

"So what happened?"

"Well, we were walking into town... and... she kind of just stopped, and she turned all pale, she passed out, and just started bleeding from everywhere, there was blood everywhere, I didn't know where it was coming from... I was scared... Brad, she's really sick..."

"I know." Brad actually found himself hugging Columbia,

"Is there anyplace we can ask where she is?"

"Front desk." Brad took Columbia's hand and dragged her to the front desk, a short blonde woman was sitting behind the desk in scrubs, "Excuse me, ma'am, do you know where Magenta Alvarado is?"

"Oh, honey, she's in Intensive Care, she needed a few transfusions and a breathing tube, she won't be out for a while."

"She'll be okay, right?" Columbia peeped,

"We think so." the woman smiled, "Would you like to know which room she'll be moved to?"

"Please."

"We're thinking 347, we don't know what's wrong but we'll know soon, okay?"

Columbia nodded wordlessly, "Thank you..."

"Anytime." The woman smiled and her phone rang quietly, she picked it up, "Suzanne Lochlan- Oh, you're just in time, okay, thank you." she hung up, "Sir, I just got a page, Magenta Alvarado is in room 347, you can go up now, it's on the third floor."

"Thanks so much."

"It's not a problem, hon."

...

The room was pale greenish-grey with light blue curtains, the bedspread was minty green and it seemed to devour Magenta's delicate body, wires stuck in her arms and a thick, clear tube blossomed from between her lips. A few machines provided a low hum and her heart monitor provided a steady, reassuring _beep...beep...beep_. Columbia collapsed into the chair that resided next to the bed, grasping Magenta's hand,

"I'm here, I'm here, sweetheart-"

"Columbia, she can't hear you."

"Actually, she probably can." said a tall woman leaning in the doorway. "Hi, I'm Dr. Lithuania Horan."

"Your name is Lithuania?" Brad smirked incredulously,

"I'm a Transylvanian, Magenta's doctor since she was thirteen, I was called here a few years ago when she moved here with her brother and the prince."

Brad felt the colour draining from his face. The events of the past year kept being dredged up.

"So, I assume you know about her... uh..."

"I diagnosed her, sir, Columbia was there." Lithuania's eyes wandered to the floor, "Well, this isn't a good sign, it seems that the illness is progressing faster in Magenta's body, therefore leaving her with... well, less time. I'd say, a year to six months."

"No... no no no-"

"Columbia, hush. And Brad, there's something I think you need to know."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Have you and Magenta been... messing around lately?"

"Well... yes, on a few occasions... Why?"

Lithuania smiled, "She's pregnant."

The news hit Brad like a vat of ice cubes.

"How can she- How is this happening?"

"Transylvanian pregnancies are very fast, they only take three months, Magenta is pregnant, it's a girl, a very healthy girl, her disease doesn't seem to have been passed on to your daughter."

"My daughter. _My _daughter... I never thought that could sound so good when I didn't even plan it."

"That's how my pregnancy sounded, I had an unplanned pregnancy-"

Lithuania was interrupted by a loud gasping noise across the room,

"Genta..." Columbia whispered, Magenta's eyes flickered open and she gingerly touched the tube in her mouth, "You can't talk, you needed a breathing tube."

"MM-"

Brad pushed Magenta's hair out of her face, her eyes followed him, "It's okay, I promise."

"MM-MM..." Magenta squeaked, "MMMM-"

"What is it?"

Magenta took Columbia's phone out of her hands and texted something, Brad felt his phone vibrate, he took it out of his pocket,

**Where is Janet?**

Brad was taken aback at this question, he sat down on Magenta's bed, "She's at the house, I came here without her."

**Why?**

"Because we had a fight."

**About what?**

"Everything."

Magenta's eyes traveled down and began to cloud with tears, she texted a little more and Brad felt his phone vibrate.

**I'm sorry.**

...

Brad held Magenta's hand as she slowly stepped out of the car, she was shivering. The lights were still on in the house, the TV was flickering in the living room. Columbia shuddered and Brad wrapped his jacket around Magenta's fragile shoulders.

"My God." he whispered, "Columbia, do you think you could maybe talk to her...? I don't think I can be civil if I have to talk to her."

"Okay. I can do that, just make sure Magenta's okay." Columbia began to run inside. She flung the door open as quietly as possible and collected herself before Janet could see her. She went up the stairs and found Janet sitting in front of the TV. Janet looked around,

"Oh. Columbia, you came back."

"Yeah... I just... Are we okay? I mean, after everything that happened...?"

"Yeah. We're fine."

"We just got back from the hospital. Magenta, she, uh, she got sick, turns out she only has a year left."

Janet jumped up, "What?"

"It's nothing, she was...in pain anyway."

"In pain? That's all you've got?"

"I- uh- I-"

"Columbia, she's your best friend and she's dying!"

"Okay, I don't need the whole _Travelling Pants_ speech, got it? I know Magenta's dying, I know she's in pain, and guess what, it turns out she's pregnant! But I-"

Columbia was interrupted when she found herself with Janet's lips attached to hers.

...

"Magenta, are you tired?"

"Just a little." Magenta whispered, her voice was still scratchy from the tube,

"I'm sorry that-"

"Ssh... don't say anything, please, I need to tell you something anyway."

What's that?" Brad pushed Magenta's hair out of her face and kissed her forehead,

"Brad..." she whispered as her eyes were falling shut, "I'm pregnant."

* * *

It was still dark when Magenta woke up. She could hear faint sobs coming from the washroom and laughing on the main floor. Female laughing. Between two people. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table, just as 3:40 became 3:41.

"BS..." Magenta snapped to herself, "This is fucking ridiculous..." She opened her bedroom door, she could see Columbia and Janet at the bottom of the stairs, getting absolutely hammered.

"JANET I CAN SEE YOUR TEETH THROUGH THE GLASS!"

"SHUT UP!"

They burst into peals of violent laughter.

"I'm gonna fucking kill those bitches." Magenta whined as she went back into her room, the sobbing persisted. It was obviously Brad in there, it couldn't be anyone else. Unless someone had broken in, which was unlikely. She opened the door. Brad was leaning against the sink.

"Are you okay...?"

"I guess, why aren't you asleep?"

"I just woke up."

"You should go back to sleep."

"But what's wrong? I want to know, please."

Brad paused for a minute, "You're really sick."

"I know, I'm fine now, though."

"No, uh..." Magenta stared into Brad's dark blue eyes through the tears, he glanced down and pulled her close, "You're not going to make it."

"I'm going to make it, I'm fine, I feel fine-" Magenta stopped, finally realizing that Brad never overreacted, "What's the prognosis?"

"About a year."

Magenta began to suddenly feel dizzy, as if the news was slowly catching up and the illness was only beginning to take effect. She felt her body beginning to shake and she collapsed, Brad caught her.

"How did you find this out...?"

"Dr. Horan told us."

"Lithuania Horan?" Brad nodded. "I think I know what I have."

"It's not what you think, it's a year prognosis... uh, without medication..."

Magenta stared. "Fuck medication... it never works. I know it's over."


	6. LesbiAnne

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

**I finished this chapter a few days ago, but I just didn't publish it. Idk why, just didn't.**

* * *

"How did she take it?"

"Surprisingly badly."

"FUUUUUCK... I'M STILL HUNGOVER..."

"Where is she now?"

"Still asleep, I don't want her to have to wake up early. And why are you two... Janet, I thought-"

"Don't worry." said Columbia. "She kissed me."

Brad looked up, Magenta was standing at the bottom of the stairs, he stood up and walked over to her,

"Are you okay?"

Magenta simply stared and pulled her shirt up, a distention was beginning to form.

* * *

"You think we should take her to the hospital?"

"She's just pregnant-"

"DON'T BE IGNORANT, BRAD!"

"Columbia, sweetheart."

"I'll never get used to that."

"HUSH, MAGENTA!"

She just told me to hush..."

"Brad, go start to car, Magenta, can you walk?"

"I'm pregnant, not dead."

"Okay, I'll lock the doors and set the alarm." said Janet, "Columbia, everything is going to be fine. We can take Rocky."

"OH NO!" Brad screamed, "I WON'T SET FOOT IN THAT HUNK OF JUNK!"

"ROCKY IS NOT A HUNK OF JUNK! YOU'RE GOING TO HURT HIS FEELINGS!"

"HE! IS! A! CAR!"

"HE'S MORE THAN A CAR! HE'S MY FRIEND! AND HE HAS VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM!"

"CAN WE GO TO THE HOSPITAL PLEASE?"

"In a minute, Magenta."

...

"Your baby looks healthy, Miss Alvarado, and... it looks like... she's a girl."

Brad saw Magenta's mouth twitch into a smile, he had tried to tune the world out in case there was any bad news. The OB-GYN was a Transylvanian, she was a woman, Brad had always been disturbed at the idea of a male OB-GYN.

"Can you tell from the sonogram?"

"Yes, did you have any names planned?"

"No, I didn't realize I was this far along... Brad, I-"

Brad squeezed Magenta's hand tighter, "You'll be okay."

"Well, Miss Alvarado, you're done, I'm going to need to see you for a while, Brad, if you could step out for a moment."

"No problem, I'll go tell Columbia and Janet."

Magenta smiled as he left and sat down in a chair across the desk from her OB-GYN, "So what would you like to tell me?"

"Um... have you made any plans for when the baby comes?"

"Oh, we're going to buy a crib soon, and-"

"No, I mean, have you made plans... for when you... eventually pass...?"

"Pass? As in die?"

"Miss Alvarado, with all due respect-"

"Am I going to die?" The OB-GYN stayed silent, "Well... then I guess... Brad would take care of her, maybe... Janet and Columbia would..." Magenta's voice trailed off and her vision blurred with tears, she dug her fingernails into the armrests of her chair, it dawned on the OB-GYN that the woman sitting in front of her truly didn't know that she was as good as dead within 3 months, by the time her baby was born, she was going to be unable to raise this baby, and she didn't know.

"Well, if your... medi..._cation_ works... you'll be fine..."

...

"Where's Magenta?"

"In her room, I don't think she's coming down anytime soon... She's really upset." Brad squeaked, "I'm going up to check on her." Brad started up the stairs, Magenta's door was open a crack, Brad peeked in to find Magenta sitting on the bed in silence, rubbing her abdomen. "Are you okay?"

"I've never not lost a baby..."

"What?"

"I've... miscarried 11 times... I gave birth to one baby, but he was something was wrong with him when he was born, he was very sick, every night he kept me up, just crying, because he was in so much pain... Not the day he died, though. He was silent that day-" Magenta burst into violent tears, Brad put an arm around her shoulders,

"I promise this time will be different, I promise..."

"...But, this time... I'm the sick one, my OB-GYN pretty much told me I was dying today..."

"You're not dying, okay?"

"Brad, today, when I was getting my sonogram, I couldn't feel my right leg, it kept flashing back, I could feel it, then I couldn't, and it just kept flashing- OH GOD!" Magenta's face contorted in pain,

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm losing it! I'M LOSING IT! BRAD, HELP!"

"It's okay, it's okay, should I get Columbia?"

"Yes," Magenta sobbed, "Please-"

Brad lifted Magenta off her bed and ran downstairs, Columbia and Janet were somehow waiting at the bottom of the stairs,

"God, is she alright?"

"I don't know, check."

Brad laid Magenta down on the couch, Columbia tore off her black lace skirt,

"She's not bleeding-"

"COLLIE, WHAT THE HELL-"

"Magenta, I'm her girlfriend, she's not trying to fuck you."

"Awwww, Jan! I'm your girlfriend?"

"What about my baby?" Magenta screamed desperately,

"There's nothing wrong that I can see."

"OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SEE IT, DUMB-ASS!"

* * *

Columbia was outside when Janet ran out to her car,

"Where are you going?"

"Out. How's Magenta?"

"Better, it's good, I read somewhere that stress is bad for a baby's development." Janet stayed silent and opened her car door. "What're you doing?"

"I'm going for a drive. I need to pick up... batteries."

"For what?"

"The... remote in the living room."

"It was working fine the last time I checked..."

"Well... Brad was messing around with it and the batteries fell out and rolled under the couch."

"Hm, tragic... Actually, I should come with you, I need to pick up a few things, you mind?"

"...Uh, not at all..." Janet lied. She and Columbia got into the car, Janet started fingering the steering wheel,

_I'm so sorry, my love, I know this must be hard for you, having my 'girlfriend' in the car, it must hurt in that pretty little heart of yours, but I'll always have you in a special place in my heart, my darling Rocky..._

"Janet? Heeeeello? Are you... in there?"

Janet snapped out of her daze all at once when Columbia was tapping her shoulder.

"Oh... uh... yeah, I'm in here... Let's go..." Janet started Rocky up and began to creep out of the driveway. Columbia rolled down her window,

"I love it here in Denton, not like Atlanta, eh? 'Cause y'know, that's where I'm from. It's so small, and it gets the best breezes, especially in the late spring-early summer like this." Columbia stuck her head out the window and screamed, Janet felt one of her fillings vibrate obnoxiously on her tooth as Columbia's earsplitting screech filled the evening air and birds fluttered out of trees along the lonely Denton road that led into the Home Of Happiness. Janet shifted uncomfortably and gently kissed Rocky's steering wheel, right at the bottom, he liked it there. Columbia snapped her head around. "You kissin' the car?"

"Sorry, I don't know, I just love this car..."

"Well, I love shoes but you don't see me kissing them... I love flowers, but I don't kiss them... I love Modern Family, but I don't kiss the TV, I love puppies, but I don't- Oh Gosh, you caught me in a lie-"

"I get it, Col."

"'Kay, good, just making sure." Columbia was silent for a while until Janet pulled up outside Bobby's. "Are we at the Farley's Drive-Thru?"

"I guess we are, I don't know, I'm just gonna get a Coke, I've gotta take care of some stuff tonight, so I need the caffeine."

"I'll come with ya." Columbia decided as they got out of the car and began to walk into the small building.

_Fantastic._ Janet thought, casting a sad glance back at Rocky, _I'm bringing my secret lesbian lover to meet my homophobic friend. This is gonna end well... That was sarcasm, baby, just making sure we're clear._

Janet opened the door, LouAnne was putting on her Farley Flavours Fabulous Fast Food visor.

"Hey Jan, who's your friend?" LouAnne looked over Columbia's hair and chest and mouthed 'Hospice-Whore', Janet shook her head. LouAnne's eyes widened,

"Hi, I'm Columbia!"

"...LesbiAnne- I mean, LouAnne..." Columbia shot LouAnne a Good-Luck-With-Whatever kind of look. LouAnne recovered herself, "So what'll it be?"

"I'm just getting a Coke." said Janet, embarrassed. Columbia grinned.

"Well, this has been super-duper awkward, and I have 19 missed calls on my phone, so, if you don't mind..." Columbia looked at the screen of her phone.

Brad had called 19 times.

She looked at one of the messages her phone had typed by itself, hopefully it had a few words wrong,

_Columbia, you have to come home, Magenta's sick._


	7. Sickness in the Morning

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

Janet skidded Rocky into the driveway, Columbia was bolting into the house before the Prius had even stopped. Janet ran after her girlfriend, following her through the house, Brad and Magenta were sitting in front of the window.

"Just tell me what happened." Columbia begged, "Please..."

"I had a few seizures, I stopped breathing for a few minutes."

"What about the baby?"

"She's fine... I guess for now..."

Brad glared at Janet, bringing an arm around Magenta's waist as she stood up, "Should we take her to the hospital?"

"No." Magenta interrupted before Janet could answer,

"We have to know if-"

"I can't go." Magenta whispered, it was apparent that she was close to tears, Brad stroked her hair as she buried her face into his shoulder, "I don't need any more bad news..." Brad stared into space as a few tears started to form in his eyes,

"It's okay..." Brad whispered as his throat swelled shut, "We don't have to go."

Within seconds, Columbia had fled the hallway in tears.

...

Janet found Columbia sitting on the living room floor and leaning against the wall next to the TV. Tears were soaking the neckline of her light blue eyelet lace shirt. She looked up,

"Jan... I just, I have to be alone right now..."

Janet smirked, "No you don't. You know you don't want to be alone."

"... She can't die..." Columbia sobbed.

"Sshh..." Janet whispered, laying Columbia's head on her chest and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's waist, "She's sick, honey, that's what it is, okay? She's very sick, and, yeah, she's dying." Tears started to flow heavily from Janet's eyes, Columbia touched her hand gently, "I just can't believe I said those things about her-" Janet choked and jumped up, "I'm sorry, sweetheart..." Janet sobbed, sprinting across the living room and throwing the front door open.

...

Once Columbia could see straight from behind her tears, she went upstairs the the guest room. Magenta was sleeping and Brad was sitting next to her bed, shuddering.

"Brad, what is it? What's-"

Brad nervously held a mirror up to Magenta's face, a soft blur spread across it and he exhaled heavily. "Why is she asleep?"

Columbia scoffed, "Well, it's late, and she's tired. She had three seizures. Brad, she's really-"

"SICK! I FUCKING GET IT!" Brad sobbed, "I think it's better if you just go. If anything happens, I just... I just want to be with her." Brad gently stroked Magenta's pale face, "I can't deal with this, she's so weak, it's like she's trying to die."

...

It wasn't until the morning that Columbia found out that Brad had fallen asleep at Magenta's bedside.

Magenta wasn't in bed, Brad was sitting quietly, Columbia broke the silence,

"Where is she? Magenta, where-" Brad pointed to the washroom,

"I'm telling myself it's only morning sickness. But we all know that's wishful thinking, she's been throwing up for the past hour-and-a-half."

"You didn't check on her?"

"She locked the door. She obviously wants to be alone."

Columbia heard Magenta retching convulsively from behind the door, she fingered the doorknob, "Let me in."

"I can't... I-" Magenta coughed, "Just... go away."

"I swear to God I'll break this door down." Columbia snapped. "Just try me, bitch."

Magenta slowly opened the door, wiping a drop of blood off the corner of her mouth. "It's not morning sickness."

Columbia crossed her arms, "You're dehydrated. Drink something."

"Like what...?"

"Uh... something with electrolytes, I'll go to the store, I bet Janet'll let me borrow Rocky." Brad and Magenta stared at her, "The Prius, shut up."

Columbia left the room, Brad sat next to Magenta on the bathroom floor,

"Why didn't you want to let me in...?"

Magenta shook her head, tears spilled down her pale cheeks, "I don't know. I didn't want to upset you..."

Brad gathered Magenta into his arms, "This isn't your fault. So don't try to take the blame for it."

Magenta turned white and threw her head back into the toilet bowl, Brad rubbed her back in small circles, his hands travelled around her waist and gently touched the distention where his baby daughter was developing. Janet emerged in the doorway.

"Are you okay in here?"

"No. Janet, go away."

Janet ignored Brad, "Here." She whispered, laying a cold, damp washcloth across Magenta's forehead, "This'll make you feel better, or at least bring your temperature down, you're burning up."

Magenta whimpered as the cold cloth hit her hot skin, Janet left the room silently, Magenta started to breathe quickly,

"Are you okay?"

"There's nothing more... I've been dry-heaving for the past 15 minutes. Only blood ever comes up."

Brad laid Magenta down on the bathmat and laid next to her, stroking the sweaty curls out of her face,

"Do you want to go to bed?" Brad whispered, Magenta shook her head,

"Can I just fall asleep right here? Just, with you, I'm really tired."

"Okay." Magenta buried her face in Brad's shoulder,

"Don't go. I don't want to be alone. Just, don't move me, or I'll be sick again."

"Okay. We can be still..." Brad felt Magenta's laboured breathing radiating against his body. Columbia poked her head into the room,

"Genta, sweetheart..." she squeaked, kneeling next to Magenta and gently kissing her forehead, brushing the hair out of her face, "You're on fire, here." Columbia shoved a thermometer into Magenta's mouth,

"MM-"

"Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh... Shut up." the thermometer beeped, "Oh no..."

"What?"

"104. That's how high her fever is."

"...baby..." Magenta squeaked, "...I can't lose my baby... I'm too far along to lose her now..."

...

Magenta finally fell asleep after about an hour. Columbia never actually got her anything. Brad laid her down in her bed. Her dark red curls spread out across the pale blue pillows and sweat was still pouring down her white face. Her makeup was smudged.

"Oh, baby, you're just not getting a break, are you?" he whispered, gently kissing her cheek. Her heat radiated against his lips. Columbia emerged in the doorway,

"How's she been?"

"Her fever's gone down, I think she's a little more comfortable now that she's finally asleep."

Columbia sat down next to Magenta, "She's radiating heat, can you run downstairs and ask Janet if y'all have have an oscillating fan?"

Brad started out the door, Columbia pulled back Magenta's black sweater, the upper half of her white lace dress was damp with sweat. Her lips were blue in the spaces where her red lipstick was coming off and her eyes were decorated with ominous dark circles that almost foreshadowed her inevitable demise. She was losing weight rapidly and her hair had lost the buoyancy that it usually possessed. The scars on her wrists from the previous year were becoming pink again as her temperature skyrocketed. Columbia tried to push her tears aside, but they came rushing back and poured down her face silently.

She finally realized she was in hysterics when she found herself laying across Magenta's body.


	8. So is Cough Syrup

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

Janet woke up with her face in Columbia's shoulder. The house was silent and the sun was gently streaming in the living room window-

THE LIVING ROOM?

Janet sat up, Columbia was lying underneath her with her bra in her back pocket. Janet thought over the circumstances of being caught after a night of hot lesbian sex by her ex-husband and his... patient. Janet got off the couch and put her shirt back on, going into the kitchen.

She sat on the counter and stared at the fridge. Everything was horrible. The past few months had been a complete disaster. Magenta was due in a matter of weeks, and scheduled to die within months. It was too close. Brad was focusing all his energy into making her comfortable and Columbia was a wreck.

Janet got off the counter as Columbia began to wake up. Her girlfriend materialized in the kitchen within seconds, she was in the process of putting her bra back on.

"Hey, what time is it?"

"I don't know... Are Magenta and Brad up yet?"

"I don't think so, she was really tired last night, and Brad's not going to leave her." Janet didn't say anything. "So, how long do you think it's gonna last?"

"How long do I think what's going to last?"

"Whatever's going on between them. You really expect it to last?"

"Well, no, she's dying, but I don't expect Brad to get over her that fast, it could take decades for him to get over her, it took him three hours to fall _IN LOVE_ with her, think how long it'll take for him to forget that this woman he instantly fell in love with, when you have that kind of chemistry with someone, it's impossible to forget."

"But he's your ex-" Columbia whispered,

"I know, but you know what, I am... Your little lesbian lover."

"You know what." Columbia smiled, "Let's go out. I'll pay."

* * *

_The house was silent as Brad ran through the halls, down staircases and glancing into rooms. The aching screams were loud enough to be heard five blocks away. _

_Finally he saw her. Lifeless and lying still in a pool of her own blood, a horrified, searching expression painted across her ashen face and tears falling from her recently deceased eyes, her hair was spread behind her head on the floor and seemed to spell out 'I loved you' in the red curls._

_Suddenly, a little girl with long red hair, green eyes and glasses appeared. _

_"DADDY!"_

...

Brad jerked awake violently, a loud scream broke the silence of the bedroom, Magenta sat up, rubbing her eyes,

"WHAT IS IT? ARE YOU OKAY?"

Brad glanced at Magenta, clasping her face in his palms, "You're alive..."

"Yes, of course I am..."

Brad pulled Magenta into his arms and gently rocked back and forth, "Promise you'll never leave me..."

"Oh baby-"

"PROMISE."

"I promise. I promise I'll never leave you." Magenta pulled back and stared at Brad for a second, "Let's go downstairs, okay?"

Brad gently lifted Magenta out of bed, holding her tightly against his chest like a lifeline. Like he was the one dying.

The previous year, Brad and Janet had gotten an elevator and shaft installed in their house so it would be more like the castle. There were only four floors including the basement, but it was there. When Magenta became paralyzed, it would pay for itself.

Brad lay Magenta down on the living room couch, sitting next to her, his hands travelled over her swollen abdomen.

"You know I can walk, right?"

"I don't want to make you." Brad whispered, "I love you, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met in my life, I just love you more than anyone and I-" Brad was silenced by Magenta's lips gently connecting with his,

"You don't need to compliment me, okay? it's fine, I love you too." Magenta buried her face into Brad's shoulder, the phone rang across the room, "Mm?"

"I'll get it." said Brad, standing up and picking up the phone, "Hello? Janet? ...oh God, what happened? Alright, okay, we'll be there, okay- see you there-" Brad hung up, "We have to go."

"Where? Why?"

"We have to go to the hospital, Janet didn't say why, but something happened to Columbia."

* * *

Janet was in the waiting room when Brad and Magenta found her, Brad stood over her with Magenta leaning on him,

"Where is she?"

"Surgery." Janet whispered, looking up, her eyes were red and her minimal eyeliner was streaming down her face, "They probably need to remove her left kidney."

"What- why? What happened?" Magenta half-screamed,

"...Turns out... I can't kiss my girlfriend in public without her getting beaten."

"What's happening to her?

"I don't know..."

A nurse came out of the OR, "Ms Weiss?"

"Yes, that's me." Janet stood up, "She's okay, right?"

"Yes, your girlfriend has been moved out of the ICU, she's doing much better, but we had to remove her left kidney, it was badly damaged. She has a broken rib and her right lung is bruised. So we'll have to keep her overnight, but we can repair everything later tonight and she'll be back home by tomorrow night."

"Where is she now?" Magenta whispered,

"I'll take you to her room."

"I'll just be a minute." Brad whispered, breaking away from Magenta and heading down the hall to the door marked 'Lithuania Horan; Specialized Obstetrics'. He knocked.

Lithuania answered the door, "Oh... Uh, Brad, right?"

"Yep."

"Oh shit... Is Magenta in labour already?"

"No, she has another month to go yet... But... I wanted to ask you some questions."

"Sure, come in."

Brad took a seat across the desk, Lithuania glanced at a medical chart.

"So, uh, I just wanted to... uh... ask... what I can expect. Before Magenta... well-"

"Dies? Well, you've come to the right person." Lithuania took a deep breath. "First of all, I'd like to just notify you that Magenta is doing exceptionally well as her illness progresses, she isn't paralyzed yet, which is very temporary, but, anyway, she looks strong, Lord knows how long that's gonna last..."

"So, uh, what do you think her last few months will be like?"

"They won't be good. You already know the basic things, she'll be wheelchair-bound, maybe even bedridden if she's hit that hard, her body will be an absolute wreck, so will her immune system, by which point even a common cold could be dangerous."

"What about when she has this baby?"

"Well... I don't know, even if she's paralyzed by that point, she'll be in severe pain, maybe worse than any normal person, during the actual birth, you can expect obstetrical hemorrhage, possibly a stroke, if giving birth to this child doesn't automatically kill her, she'll be unconscious for a few hours to a few days after."

"She won't die, will she?"

"We don't think she will, she's doing well, I have a team of Transylvanian doctors standing by, they're the best we have in America right now, luckily, they're very good. So far, our team has had no deaths. Let's hope it stays that way."

Brad inhaled and looked down. "It won't... we both know."

"Brad, it doesn't have to be like this. You realize you can make this better."

"No. I can't. She's terminal, and pregnant. And I love her more than I can express."

* * *

Columbia was sleeping when Brad came into her room. She looked horrible. A violent gash streaked across her chest, she looked pale, Janet was holding her hand, Magenta was sitting next to her bed but was obviously tired. Brad sat next to her,

"I can take you home, if you're tired."

"No... I have to stay."

"Visiting hours are almost up. And you really need to rest, we're all going back to the house." Brad took hold of Magenta's hand, "Come on, sweetheart, I'm sure they'd call us if anything happened."

"My head just hurts."

"I know, baby, I wish I could help, I'm sorry."

Magenta stood up, Janet gently kissed her sleeping girlfriend's cheek. Brad saw Magenta cast one tearful glance backwards as they were leaving the room.

...

Columbia came home the next day at about 8:30 pm. She stayed in bed after she got back and Magenta volunteered to sit with her. Janet went for a drive and Brad made late dinner, which backfired horribly when it overcooked and turned black. Brad called Janet and told her to pick something up.

He went upstairs after a while, Columbia was still sleeping but Magenta was gone. The bathroom door was open and Brad could hear soft sobs coming from just behind the threshold.

Magenta was sitting on the floor next to the bathtub sobbing violently into her hands, Brad stood over her silently for about two minutes until she glanced up at him, her hand fell away from her lips, they were a dull blue colour.

"What's wrong-" Brad began, Magenta pulled back the shower curtain. Sitting in the bathtub were at least five empty bottles of cough suppressant.

...

"Please don't make me throw up again..."

"I don't want to make you go to the emergency room, so stick your finger down your throat or get in the car."

"It's disgusting..."

"So is cough syrup. But you already-"

"Just stop. Please..."

"Why in the hell would you do that?" Brad started to see tears forming in Magenta's eyes.

"I don't want to be here anymore... I take so many painkillers every night that I can't see three inches in front of my face and that's still not enough. I can't think, I'm pregnant, I'll never really know my baby. Brad, I have a year left, Janet told me."

Brad was silent as Magenta threw her head back into the toilet.

"Okay, you're okay."

"I think that's the last of it..."

"You think you'll be okay tonight?"

"I want to stay with you... I don't think I trust myself alone."

* * *

Brad woke up late the next morning. He could hear soft voices coming from the main floor.

"...It'll take some getting used to, but I think I'll be fine." Magenta's quiet voice drifted up the stairs. Brad buried his face into his pillow when he suddenly heard the sound of the elevator. Within seconds Magenta was sitting next to the bed. She smiled and whispered,

"My legs went last night."

"Wait... what?"

Magenta stayed silent, never standing up, and kind of smoothly backed away. That's when Brad noticed the sound of wheels on a carpet.


	9. Like an orgy?

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

"Brad, you've been in there for six hours, just come out, please?"

"I think I'm having a panic attack..."

Magenta was silent on the other side of the bedroom door, "This is because of me, isn't it. Open the door."

"I can't. I just-"

"Fine. I'm not scared of this anymore. I have you now, there's nothing for me to be afraid of. Open the fucking door."

...

Brad sat on the bathroom floor for another hour until Magenta opened the door. Her eyes widened substantially when she saw the Tylenol scattered across the tiles.

"You didn't take any... did you?"

"It's not like you've never tried to overdose."

"You took them?"

"Not yet." Brad looked down and then back at Magenta, "Just stand up, please."

"I can't anymore. You know that. That's why you've been in here for the past seven hours." Magenta came closer, slowly moving herself onto the bathroom floor, Brad noticed that her legs never stirred, "Are you going to be like this when the baby comes? Because if you do I really will overdose. I don't want to leave you before I have to."

Brad could hear sadness sneaking it's way into Magenta's voice,

"...Does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?"

"Your legs."

"I don't know, I can't even feel them." Magenta glanced back at Brad, "You don't deserve this, I'm so sorry..." Magenta rested her head on Brad's shoulder, "I'm sorry I had to put you through this."

"What're you talking about? You're not putting me through anything."

Suddenly, Magenta collapsed, sobbing, with her face in Brad's lap, as if on cue, Janet emerged in the doorway.

"Are you okay in here?"

"Janet, get out."

"I asked a question, Brad Majors, I expect an answer."

"You're not my mother."

There was about a minute of silence, then Janet sat down next to them and that was the way they stayed for the rest of the night.

...

"Ooh, hot, like an orgy?"

"No." Magenta corrected, she was sitting in Columbia's room, Columbia was still in bed, "I don't know, it was weird."

"How are you adjusting?"

"Okay I guess. You can tell Brad's freaking out about it."

"What, about you being disabled now?"

"Yeah, and the fact that I'm pregnant. I mean, I'm so close to having this baby, I don't even think I have a month to go, maybe that's why..." Magenta ran a hand over her abdomen, "I can't let her grow up without a mother... Promise me you and Janet will take her. Once I die. And keep Brad in the picture-" Magenta stopped, "Fuck."

"What?"

"I have an OB-GYN appointment today. That's just great."

"You'll be fine, you've been taking the medication that Lithuania prescribed, haven't you?"

"...A little..."

Columbia was about to open her mouth when Brad came into the doorway,

"Magenta...? Sweetheart, we have to go to the hospital now."

...

"Are you okay?"

Brad glanced away from the road and into the passenger seat, Magenta's hands were resting on her abdomen,

"Am I okay?"

"Like, after last night..."

Brad took one hand off the wheel and rested it on Magenta's leg, "I am now. I want to be here for you, okay? I promise I won't break down again."

Magenta smiled, but the look quickly switched to horror within seconds.

"Brad, pull the car over NOW."

"What- why?"

"My water just broke..."


	10. Calpurnia

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

"I need to go in there..."

"Brad, it's been a hard week for all of us, just back off!" Janet snapped, Brad began to back away from the door of the OR.

"I can't back off, Janet. I just can't, if that was Columbia in there, or me for that matter-"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"But do you get it?!"

A nurse in yellow scrubs with a small black lightning bolt pin on her shoulder came out of the OR,

"Are you Mr Majors?"

"Yes." Brad answered, "How is she?"

"Uh... well, she's not good. Ms Corcoran is in there with her now, I'll have her talk to you-" The nurse turned around and called Columbia out of the OR, she came to the door, the nurse continued, "Ms Alvarado is bleeding heavily right now, common in births like these, our team is discovering problem after problem..."

"Can you just list them?"

"Well, so far, our team has found four broken ribs, obstetrical hemorrhage, and some internal damage. We had to put her under to safely deliver the baby because she was panicking, and that accelerated her heart rate, which made her bleed more heavily. Luckily," the nurse smiled, "Mr Majors, your daughter is perfectly healthy, Ms Corcoran mentioned a name to me that she'd said Ms Alvarado had planned for her baby."

Columbia looked up, "Calpurnia." she squeaked through her tears, "Calpurnia Isis."

"Where is she?" Janet cut in, "Where's Calpurnia?"

"Right now half of our team in examining her for health complications brought on by the fact that she's half-Transylvanian, as that can present risks, also, considering her mother's illness. But she's beautiful, Mr Majors, just like Ms Alvarado." The nurse glanced at Brad, "We can take you to see the operation on Ms Alvarado."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, usually, the viewing area is reserved for medical personnel, but considering the circumstances, I'm sure I can bend some rules."

Brad and Janet began to follow the nurse but Columbia stayed put,

"Ms Corcoran, are you..."

Columbia shook her head, "I can't go back in there, once you've been in you just can't do it again."

"Why?"

"Mr Majors, just come with me."

The nurse led Brad and Janet up a short flight of stairs and through a door, a wide window spread across the wall into the OR. A group of doctors in yellow scrubs was swarming over Magenta's body like bees over a cluster of flowers, Brad could see tears forming in Janet's eyes for the woman she had despised a few months earlier, Brad didn't tear up because he couldn't actually see her.

When he did, he wished he never had.

Her body was completely covered by a light blue sheet, her abdomen had been sliced open and was almost disgusting to look at, the blood seemed to glow in the dim light of the operating room. What Brad could see of her skin was sheet white. When he glanced at her face, he noticed that her eyes were open. She was fully under, but her eyes were open.

Brad was suddenly overcome by horror and nausea, before he could wrap his head around what he was doing, he had fled the room.

...

Janet left the OR viewing area after about two hours. The surgery had been a success and Magenta had been moved to a room on the third floor. Columbia was holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket, Janet sat down on the bench next to her,

"Here she is..." Columbia whispered, pulling the edge of the blanket back from the baby's face, her clear blue eyes were wide open, and a layer of soft red curls was beginning to grow. Calpurnia seemed a few months older than she was.

"Jesus Christ, how long has she been alive?"

"Transylvanian babies mature faster, but they stop growing for a little while after they hit the equivalent of a year, so they mature normally after a year. Callie's about a month by now."

Calpurnia squeaked. Janet hopped back,

"WHAT DID SHE JUST DO?"

"Uh... a baby sound?"

"Oh... that's what that was, I thought she was dying."

Columbia shot Janet a critical look, "You've never held a baby, have you?"

"I've never touched a baby. I'm the youngest out of my whole family, and none of my sisters have had kids yet. I've never spent more than five minutes with a baby..."

"Well, you better get used to it."

"What? Why?"

"Didn't Magenta tell you?"

"She didn't tell me anything."

"Well... when she dies, she says she wants to leave Calpurnia with us... Because we can't conceive, and you've always wanted a baby girl to put in pageants."

"...Can we not talk about that...?

Calpurnia made another squeaking noise,

"Do you want to hold her?"

"I... huh-what?"

"Do you want to hold the baby. Yes or no..."

Janet awkwardly picked Calpurnia up and laid the baby across her lap.

"Heheh... she's so cute... Like a teeny Magenta..."

"Yeah, she wants you to be the godmother."

"Really?" she stared at Calpurnia for a second, "Then of course, I'll do anything she wants." Janet froze, "Which reminds me... Brad's boss... wants him back at work. Tomorrow."

"What? What about the baby- what about Magenta?!"

"I don't know... I don't-" A tear ran down Janet's face, "He has a new baby and an incredibly sick-" Janet froze, "Holy shit... HOLY SHIT-SHIT-SHIT!"

"What?"

"I just realized... I'm still married to Brad..."

A look went over Columbia's face. Calpurnia smirked.

...

Brad was standing in the hallway when Lithuania approached him, he was still nauseous after seeing Magenta in surgery and still hadn't seen his baby girl yet.

"Brad, hi."

"Hi... Dr Horan. How's she doing?"

"Well, Little Miss Calpurnia is doing very well, she's adorable, Magenta... uh... she's going to be in a medically induced coma... for the next few days. The stress of having Calpurnia could have killed her and she has to rest it off or she could go into shock." Lithuania made a kind of sad smile, "I can take you to see her... Columbia and Janet are there now."

Lithuania headed away down the hall without awaiting an answer, Brad slowly followed her, trying to prepare himself for what he'd find. They arrived at a door to a small grey room, Lithuania opened the door.

Magenta was laying in a hospital bed, Columbia was stroking her hair and Janet was squealing into a pale pink bassinet. Brad froze, he didn't know who to focus on. He took a few tentative steps towards Janet and the bassinet.

His eyes fell on a beautiful baby girl with Magenta's hair and his eyes. He couldn't even say anything. He just glanced at Magenta's still body and his throat swelled shut. The two people he would always love unconditionally would never really know each other, it made him sick.

"She's beautiful, isn't she..." Janet whispered, Brad nodded. "Magenta should wake up within a few days."

"Janet..." Brad whispered, "What's going to happen when I have to go back to work? I might have to work late some nights..."

"I guess... if Magenta needs anything, Columbia could take care of her and I could watch Callie..."

"Janet... we need to get a legal divorce... I want to marry Magenta."

"Brad. You can't marry her, she's too sick, she won't make it."

"We don't need a huge ceremony. All a marriage needs is vows and a ring. She'll be fine."

Columbia stood up from where she was sitting, Brad noticed that her eyeliner was streaming down her face.

"We can't stay overnight." she squeaked, "We're not allowed... Because of the new baby. They said they'd call us if anything happens to her."

"I guess we should pack up then." Janet whispered, "Brad, take the baby. She has to stay here for the night but you can hold her for a few seconds."

Brad took hold of Calpurnia, she buried her face into his shirt the way Magenta used to. A weird feeling washed over Brad as he stared at the baby, then back at Magenta. He walked over to the edge of her bed and looked at Calpurnia,

"You want to tell Mommy goodnight, Baby?" Calpurnia kind of glanced at Magenta for a second and squeaked again, Brad bent down and gently kissed Magenta's forehead. "I guess that's good enough."

Brad laid Calpurnia down in her little baby bed next to Magenta's and left finally knowing that the two people he would always love unconditionally were safe for the night.

...

_Columbia opened the locker to find about 30 empty bottles of over-the-counter painkillers, and an empty bottle of rubbing alcohol, taped to the empty bottle was a post-it that read 'Fag-umbia's dinner tonight' then another one under that read 'You're doing the world a favour'. _

_At that moment, a hand came out of nowhere and the next thing Columbia knew she was on the floor and waking up._

_..._

"COLUMBIA! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" Janet screamed, Columbia sat up, "You were sobbing, are you okay?"

"I had a dream... it was more like a flashback... I was 15..."

"You sounded upset..."

"Yeah, high school was... where's Brad?"

"He's still asleep. The hospital called a while ago. Magenta moved her hand apparently. I can do that too, it's not really an accomplishment even if you're in a medically induced coma."

"They expect her to be awake tomorrow, we're going to have to get the house ready for her. So we're gonna clean today. Go slap Brad for me."

Janet giggled and took a few steps towards her closet. "Calpurnia's so cute... She reeeeaally looks like Magenta."

"Yeah, when she grows up, she's gonna be a real beauty." Columbia suddenly felt like she was getting stabbed, she released a kind of strangled scream and Janet whipped around,

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... my stitches hurt is all. I think we need to be a lot more careful with public displays of affection, people don't- ahhhh..."

"Yeah, in Denton anyway, Ohio isn't the most gay-friendly of states. And if we moved somewhere where it was accepted, I feel like everyone would expect us to stop shaving... and cut our hair and wear overalls and start eating a lot of organic food, I don't think I've eaten one vegetable in the past week."

"I'll never stop shaving. I did for a few months a while ago because I was on a winning streak in bowling, but my whole family got mad and Magenta threatened to knock me out and wax my legs so I had to start again."

Janet giggled, "I love her. I can't believe I hated her so much before. Okay, you have to get out of bed, if this house doesn't smell like lemons by the time we're done, Brad's probably going to kill us and make it look like an accident!"

Columbia started to stand up, her stitches burned and she sat back down. "Okay... now I know how Magenta feels..."

"You need a Tylenol?"

"That's okay. They always put me to sleep so I shouldn't."

...

When Brad woke up, the house reeked of lemon scented cleaning products. He was thinking about Calpurnia and Magenta and the empty spot next to him in bed, the empty spot that smelled like her perfume. It made him sick to think of her not being there. And if he couldn't handle it for one night, he was screwed for the rest of his life.

It was 6 am. He couldn't be expected to so much as move when he was that depressed. He closed his eyes, beyond sleep at this point, he just wanted to be in the dark for a few minutes, feeling his suppressed tears marbling across his corneas. Knowing nobody but maybe Magenta or his baby girl would ever see him cry like that. He needed them. He needed Magenta to be at home so he could keep her comfortable. He needed Calpurnia to be at home because all babies need parents. And they needed to come home.

There was a loud noise from downstairs and a loud scream of 'SHEEEEE-IT!' followed by, 'COLUMBIA, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!'.

Brad got out of bed and minced across the room to the door, then to the edge of the stairs, he could see Janet and Columbia gathered in a sobbing heap at the bottom of the stairs.

"What is it?" he heard Columbia whisper,

"The hospital called. Magenta... she had a stroke during the night because of all the blood she lost having Callie. They operated and she's still going to be woken up today but apparently the stroke really fucked her up, they don't know what could happen when she wakes up."

Brad didn't remember anything after he passed out.

* * *

A few hours later, Brad woke up. Ten minutes later, he left with Janet and Columbia to bring Magenta and Calpurnia back from the hospital. It happened like this is a surreal blur. Brad didn't even say a word, just watched Janet and Columbia live through the 70 minutes. Reality set in when he was standing outside the ICU.

As Lithuania broke the news that they were going to keep Magenta for another week.

"We're not telling anyone what's wrong with her, we've sealed off that area of the ICU and only our team is allowed in. We're going to let one of y'all stay overnight with her so she's not alone at night and you'll each need a pass to be let in."

"Why can't we just take her home?"

"She's in critical condition, she needs to be kept on oxygen because of the stroke. But she's awake and she's been asking for you." Lithuania glanced down. "And our team has been able to put two names to this disease. Alvarado Syndrome and Syndrome E."

"What's E stand for?" Janet squeaked.

"End." Lithuania whispered,

"Why Alvarado?"

"Because, Majors, Magenta is one of the first documented cases, and the other families didn't consent. Columbia signed the document we had prepared."

"Yeah, I did." Columbia confessed, glancing down. "Can we just go see her please?"

"I guess you can, nobody's looking at us."

...

Magenta was awake when they arrived in her room. She was staring at the wall with wide tear-laced eyes. Calpurnia was sleeping in the pink bassinet on the windowsill. Brad sat on the edge of Magenta's bed, she glanced at him, stumbled through a few syllables and finally dissolved into tears.

"What's wrong with her?" Brad whispered,

"The stroke temporarily damaged her speech, we'll have her on speech therapy for the rest of the week."

Magenta pointed weakly at Calpurnia, she inhaled sharply, biting her lip. Brad laid down next to her.

"She'll be fine." he whispered. "And so will you." Columbia picked Calpurnia up and Janet collapsed on the windowseat.

"Shoot me."

"Don't even say that." Brad shushed her, "Nobody's dying. Shut your fucking mouth-" his voice trailed off as Calpurnia started to sob.

...

Janet and Columbia had gone home for the night, Brad had offered to spend the first night at the hospital with Calpurnia and Magenta. Magenta was given a sedative to stay asleep through the night and Calpurnia slept surprisingly fine for a new baby.

After a while, Lithuania came in to replace Magenta's IV. Brad pretended like he was sleeping and she left. Magenta stirred next to him and buried her face into his chest, he smiled a little and gently kissed the top of her head,

"You're so gorgeous." He whispered, "I love you so much." Magenta coughed and ran her hand over the mattress, like she was feeling for something. Calpurnia squeaked, Brad glanced at her. She was a perfect baby. She looked exactly like Magenta, especially the baby pictures he'd seen in Magenta's purse. She had Brad's eyes though. She was definitely their baby.

Magenta opened her eyes, Brad stared at her for a second until she smiled,

"Mm... Ny-c-uh..." Magenta exhaled,

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. You're gonna have speech therapy tomorrow."

Magenta nodded, "I... I- n..."

Brad kissed her forehead, "Go back to sleep, okay?"

Magenta ran a hand through Brad's hair, she mouthed what looked like an 'I love you'. A few tears began to form in her eyes and she pulled the sheets closer around herself, Brad dried the tears as they began to run down her face. In about two minutes, they were both asleep.

* * *

Janet woke up at about 4 am and got dressed, showered, and woke Columbia. They ended up at the hospital at about 4:30. Brad had called and said Magenta was doing better. It was still dark when they got there and it was before visiting hours.

When Janet parked the car, Columbia was sleeping in the back, she called Brad.

"Hi?"

"Hi it's me."

"Great..."

"How's Magenta doing?"

"She's in speech therapy right now. I'm in the hallway, her therapist wanted privacy."

"This early?"

"Yeah, they want to have her talking by the end of the week. Her session ends at noon."

"Hows the baby?"

"Adorable."

"Aw, that's good. Now tell me how Magenta actually is."

"I just said-"

"Tell me how she is."

"She's... ok..."

"Stop sugarcoating it, Brad-"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, okay? And maybe I don't want to."

"Well, you should! Okay, we're leaving. We'll be back at noon."

...

Brad hung his phone up and glanced around the hallway, he heard a few people arguing. The hospital opened in half an hour, half an hour away from Janet but still half an hour until he could actually talk to someone.

The whole feeling was weird. He could actually feel Magenta through the door. Everything about her was resonating through the door, all the paralysis and aphasia and sickness and the fact that she was still the gorgeous, loving, sweet woman he fell in love with.

He glanced in the window and saw her talking to a middle-aged looking woman who was sitting at the end of her bed, it only looked like she was saying small words, maybe less, and she looked almost lost. She was holding Calpurnia though. At least she was getting to hold her baby.

The speech therapist looked at the window and made an exasperated face, she said something to Magenta who smiled in response and pointed to the door, the speech woman stood up and opened the door,

"Are you going to lurk out here forever? Or do I have to let you in?"

"It's- it's... uh... k..."

"Just get your ass in here." the therapist snapped, her nametag read MaryAnn and she wasn't dressed like a doctor.

Brad sat down on the windowseat, Magenta glanced at him and smirked, then turned back to 'MaryAnn',

"So, Ms Alvarado, I want you to read this." MaryAnn handed Magenta Calpurnia's medical chart, "Luckily, there's nothing wrong with your daughter now, but this is her medical chart. So just read that. Out loud."

"Uh... Br... n... mmm.." Magenta exhaled heavily,

"Go slowly if you need to. It's fine, there's no rush. Even if your...boyfriend is sitting right here. In this room. AS I'M TRYING TO HELP HER, MR MAJORS-"

"Well, I'm sorry-"

"Shush, ok, sweetheart, continue."

Brad leaned back and mentally prepared himself for a long day.

* * *

Magenta's speech therapy session was over by the time Janet and Columbia showed up and she had another one in half an hour. Magenta was tired so Brad took Calpurnia outside. She really was a beautiful baby. She was already making little baby sounds and poking things.

Brad sat down on a bench on the roof of the hospital. Calpurnia squeaked.

"What?" Calpurnia peeped again, "You love Mommy, don't you? Yeah, me too, baby. And Mommy loves you."

Columbia sat down on the bench next to Brad, "Hi."

"Why are you here?"

"They started her therapy session early, Janet's getting some groceries and Lithuania told us to buy syringes. For the new painkiller she'll need."

"Shit."

"NOT IN FRONT OF THE BABY!" Columbia screamed, snatching Calpurnia out of Brad's hands.

"Oh come on, she literally stopped being inside Magenta less than 48 hours ago."

"That's not an excuse to say bad words, is it, Callie-baby? You pretty little kitty... Oh yeah, check this out!" Columbia pulled a few things out of a light pink Baby Gap bag, "My sister works at the Baby Gap, she sent me some presents for the little princess."

"Are those bitty Uggs?"

"Yes, and this Kitty-Cat Hat! And she also has a cob of corn one."

"A corn hat?"

"She also has a strawberry and a bunny."

"Why does she have shoes? Where's she gonna be walking?"

"When she learns how. And she got Converse AND Toms too. And all these clothes!"

"What if she'd been a boy?"

"Boy-Calpurnia would still get clothes. And shoes and a Ni-Ni shaped like a strawberry."

"You need help, woman."

"And Calpurnia needs little stripey pants."

* * *

Brad went home that night, he couldn't handle being in the hospital anymore. He was going to stay for the next two days until Magenta came home.

He figured there was nothing more to lose so he called his mother. She arrived at the house in under ten minutes,

"Brad Majors, you look like complete shit, _what_ is wrong?"

"That's why I called you... Uh... there's a lot you don't know..."

Leticia Majors sat down on the couch, "Tell me everything."

"I'm not with Janet anymore. I started a new relationship."

"Ooh what's her name?!"

"It doesn't really matter. She's dying, and she just had a baby."

"Is it yours?" Brad nodded, "I'M A GRANDMA!" Leticia screamed, slowly quieting down when she saw the look on Brad's face. "Oh, baby, I'm sorry, I'm making this all about me. I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Magenta. Her name's Magenta. And she's terminal. She has less than a year and she's paralyzed. And she's coming home in two days and she can't know you're here."

Brad's phone suddenly vibrated, a text was projected onto the screen that read 'GET TO THE HOSPITAL NOW'


	11. Dinner with Ralph and Betty

**Not Enough Time, Not Enough Experience.**

**Thanks to Ninety-Six Smiles for sharing her ideas. No seriously, this story would be serious BS without you. :)**

* * *

When Brad and his mother arrived at the hospital, Columbia was standing outside Magenta's room holding Calpurnia, Leticia squealed,

"OOHHHH BRAD IS THIS YOUR BABY SHE'S SO PRECIOUS!"

"Yeah, that's Calpurnia."

"Are you...?"

"I'm Brad's mother, Leticia Majors."

"Columbia Corcoran... I'm a friend, I'm... uh... dating Janet..."

"Oh... okay." said Leticia, "So, is Calpurnia's momma around here somewhere?"

"Oh, that reminds me." Columbia began, "Brad, she's doing a lot better, the speech therapy's done, so she can pretty much talk now, it's just a few words, that, you know, anyway, they've taken her off of oxygen, so she can actually go home... today."

"Is that why you-"

"Yeah. She asked about you."

"Columbia, my mother is here-"

"Brad Majors, will you stop, I need to meet her, she's the mother of my granddaughter."

"Fine. But don't say anything, she's fragile, she's depressed, she's paralyzed-" Leticia opened the door, "Okay, just walk right in."

Magenta was laying silently when Leticia walked in, she sat up quickly when she saw Brad following her,

"Are you Magenta?"

"...Brad, who is this?"

"My mother."

"Leticia Majors. You're Magenta."

"Yes..." Leticia started to hug Magenta, Magenta got a look on her face.

"You're beautiful. And young, and gorgeous and I love your hair, and you make adorable babies with my son."

"MOTHER. SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

Leticia backed off a little, "Sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed."

Brad glared at his mother, "Janet and Columbia are probably going home soon, you should go with them."

"Actually." Magenta began, "I'm going home, will Janet's car fit all of us?"

"Not the Prius, but I have my car here, we can go home separately."

"Well, won't that be fun!" Leticia squealed,

"Not you, mother."

"Brad, she can come, it's fine."

"With Calpurnia in the car?"

"I love babies, Brad. All women do." Leticia snapped, "And that Calpurnia is a beautiful little baby, sweetheart, just because you're paralyzed doesn't mean-"

"MOTHER, STOP."

...

Magenta felt numb as Brad pushed her wheelchair through the front door, the baby in her arms reminded her of her limited time and she could feel herself spacing out.

...

"I'm just saying, I don't want her first memory to be Brad giving me shots of morphine into my thighs."

"I don't think babies catch on to that, she'll be about two when she has her first conscious memory."

Magenta went silent with Columbia's last remark, "So she won't remember me."

"I'll make sure she knows about you."

"But I don't want her to be guilted into caring. When I was a kid I was guilted into caring about things and I hated it. Don't do that to her."

"Do you feel okay?"

"Honestly, I don't, because I'm on the verge of death and apparently it's normal to feel like I'm being stabbed in the lung with a fork. Can you euthanize me while Brad's sleeping tonight?"

"If you even say that again-"

"I'm serious, you don't understand what's happening to me, the ribs that broke while I was having Calpurnia probably won't ever heal so I have this effing bandage 24/7, I'm paralyzed, so you can kick me in the shins as hard as you can and I probably won't feel it, my head hurts all the time because it's shutting down and I have to put up with the three of you, four I guess because Brad's mother showed up, overreacting and trying to make me comfortable when I just want to die in peace-"

"It won't be the same without you. Since I was 11, everyone except three friends and my family hated me, and this kept up until I finished high school and came to the castle, and you came into my life and you were nice to me and you accepted me and you made me want to live, which was far from what I'd felt before."

Magenta stared at Columbia's shoes as tears began to rush into her line of vision,

"I think I'm going to bed."

"It's 10 am...?"

"Exactly. Bring Calpurnia up in about an hour and call Brad at work, just tell him not to wake me."

...

"It's good to have you back, Brad. It hasn't been easy but we've sold a lot of cars since May and it's October."

"That's great, Ralph, can you leave me alone please?"

"What did Janet do now?"

"It's not Janet." Brad shoved a pile of paper off his desk to access the phone buried under the stack of paperwork, "I think that couple is looking at that Volvo over there, go sell it or something. And make sure it crashes while they're driving away in it."

"I'll never understand you."

"Thank the Lord on high."

"What's wrong with you? You seem jacked up."

"... No, I just kind of want Betty to die right now."

"Watch how you're talking about my wife."

"What if she was dying?"

"And it was your fault? There's no telling what I'd- Oh god, is Janet sick or something? It's not that, right?"

"No, she's fine, she's in a new relationship and there's someone else in my life now."

"What's wrong with her?"

"You wouldn't understand." the phone rang, "Shit. Majors/Hapschatt Car Dealership- Columbia- what's wrong with her? Okay. Okay, thanks."

"What's wrong with who?!"

"Get out of here, Ralph."

"I'm not letting up, Brad. This is just like in 8th grade when your dog got run over. You refused to talk about it and-"

"MAGENTA'S DYING, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

"Who's M-"

"She just had a baby, my baby, and she's on her deathbed because of some... genetic BS. Are you satisfied?"

"...I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do?"

"I don't think you'd want to, Janet's in a lesbian relationship now and the last time you were in the same room as a lesbian you didn't hesitate four seconds to cut her with a letter opener. And she was my cousin. And there is no way in hell I'm letting you near Magenta or her baby, you're almost always sick and her immune system is almost gone, it's just a bunch of bad ideas."

Ralph wiped his nose on his sleeve, "I am NOT always sick..."

"Ralph, I'm sorry, there's just a lot going on."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"You can take the rest of the medication Magenta was on for pre-eclampsia. They gave her enough for nine months and she was only pregnant for three."

"That'll kill me- oh, I see. No, I'm serious, just, tell me if you need any financial help or babysitting, Betty's pregnant now and she keeps saying she needs practice."

"That's... amazing, I'd be happier for you if this wasn't happening."

"At least let me come over."

"Alright, fine, come have dinner on Friday."

* * *

Brad came home at six, Magenta was laying on the couch with Calpurnia on her chest, Columbia was desperately attempting to make dinner and Janet was painting her nails, he opened the door slowly and went to sit next to Magenta,

"SHIT!" Columbia screamed, dropping the frying pan into the sink, "Fuck everything, I'm ordering in, I don't even care anymore." she left the room, Janet took Calpurnia off of Magenta's chest,

"Something's wrong with her." Janet whispered, "since this morning. I'll make dinner." She passed Brad the baby,

"How was work?" Magenta whispered, sitting up,

"It was okay, I missed you. How was your day?"

"Uneventful. I can't keep anything down though so that's interesting."

"You need your shot now?"

Magenta shook her head, "Nothing really hurts and morphine just makes me sicker. Just lay down with me, please." she took Calpurnia as Brad laid down, "We'll be fine, I know we will."

"You mean so much to me. I can't stand to think that I'll lose you someday."

"You don't have to think about that-" Magenta began, Janet interrupted by running into the kitchen, about to salvage whatever Columbia had been making.

"'Genta, you want me to take the baby?"

"If you want to, I think she's tired of me anyway." Janet picked Calpurnia up, "Is Columbia okay?"

"I've never seen anyone cry that hard in my life. It's like she saw someone die."

"Get her down here."

"I don't-"

"Please. I want to talk to her alone." Janet started towards the stairs, Brad got off the couch, Columbia suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs and walked slowly into the living room, Magenta patted the couch, "Come here."

Columbia sat on the edge of the couch, "I can't-"

"It's okay."

"It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"You asked me that two hours ago."

* * *

The next day, Brad went through the motions, it was Thursday, he called home at about noon, Janet said Magenta was fine and Calpurnia was being quiet enough. The horror began when he got home at seven.

Janet opened the door when she saw him on the front step, "Don't ask her for anything. There's something wrong, we've been giving her shots of morphine for the past hour but the pain won't go down."

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs, Columbia thought a hot bath would make her stop hurting, she's still in there and she's completely immobile because her arms hurt too much to move- I'm just going to tell myself she's having a bad night. Calpurnia's sleeping if you can believe it."

Brad started to go upstairs, the bathroom door in he and Magenta's room had been thrown open, he looked around the doorframe, Magenta and Columbia stared at him, they both had tears in their eyes and blood was streaming out of Magenta's nose.

"Brad, please leave." Columbia whispered, stroking Magenta's wet hair, "Just, go check on the baby." Columbia turned back to Magenta, "Is it getting better?" Magenta shook her head, "Brad, just, please go."

"Does she need anything-" As Brad was finishing the sentence, Columbia stood up and left the room, Magenta glanced at him,

"You don't want to come in here." she whispered, "I put on weight after having the baby and I'm too sick to look remotely good."

"What hurts?"

"Everything, I don't know what's wrong it just won't stop and I- oh God-"

"Are you okay?"

"Bring me back to bed, alright?" Brad lifted Magenta's fragile body out of the hot water, she was shivering, "I just want to sleep, it hurts too much."

"I know, baby, you'll be fine." Brad laid Magenta down and covered her with the sheets, running his hands over her immobilized legs,

"I hope you realize I'm not putting clothes on." Magenta smirked and bit her lip as the pain started to flare up again,

"I don't mind. I'll be back in a few minutes, you need anything?"

"I think I need another shot." Brad began to back out of the room when it looked like Magenta was starting to settle down. Then he ran downstairs,

"Okay, give me the morphine and the needles." he yelled, Janet looked up.

"She doing better?"

"I think so. Is dinner ready, I'm staying with her tonight."

"Yeah, a little, it's leftovers though."

"Okay, that's fine, GODDAMMIT WHERE ARE THE NEEDLES AND THE MORPHINE?!"

"ON THE TABLE." Janet screamed back, "Columbia... is in our room. Don't bring it up with her, okay?" Brad took the needles and morphine off the table and Janet handed him a plate of leftovers. He started back up the stairs, Magenta was waiting for him.

"How's it feel?"

"I need the morphine, it's starting to get worse." Magenta pushed the sheet off of her right leg, Brad stared at it for a second and stuck the needle into her white flesh,

"Can you feel this?"

"No." Magenta stared at the needle, "Do you want me to put clothes on?"

"Absolutely not."

"Okay, but if you touch anything I can't feel, you have to leave."

Brad laid down next to Magenta and she put her head in his lap,

"You look beautiful."

"You can touch my boobs if you want."

"Eat first so you don't pass out." Brad handed Magenta the plate as she started to sit up, his eyes were suddenly fixed on her exposed chest, she noticed,

"We should do this more often."

"Do what more often?"

"Dinner in bed while you eye-fuck me- Shit-"

"You need another shot?"

"No, it's okay." Magenta leaned into his shoulder, "Columbia and Janet want to take me out tomorrow, and your friend Ralph's wife is going to babysit Callie, if it's okay with you."

"If you'll be okay, it's fine."

"Apparently a lot of people are a lot nicer when I'm paralyzed, disabled people apparently get treated a lot better, from what I've heard."

"In Denton?"

"I would think so." Magenta sat up straighter and Brad put an arm around her waist, she passed him her empty plate, "Denton never really liked me, I guess I came off like kind of a whore."

"You're not, though."

"They didn't know that, but I guess now that I've completely lost the use of my lower body, they'll feel bad for me and not give me any more dirty looks." she paused, "What time is it?"

"It's about 7:30."

"That's way too early for me to go to sleep."

"If you're tired you should."

"I'm not even tired though, I'm only tired because it hurts so much and I'm not even sure I want to sleep, I just want it to stop."

"You think you could...?"

"No, it hurts too much. Everything does." Brad suddenly saw Magenta's teary green eyes staring at him, "It...never stops." the tears started to overflow as she collapsed into his arms, "I hate this..."

"I know, baby. I'm so sorry."

"You don't deserve this, I don't want to make you take care of me."

"What if I want to?"

"I d-"

"You put up with surgery, and having a baby girl and being sick and in so much pain that you can't use the parts of the body that you're left with, and no-one listening to you because they think they know what you need, and you're still so gorgeous. So I think I owe it to you because you can't deal with it on your own."

Magenta buried her face deeper into his shirt, "I can't put up with it anymore."

"Okay, I'll do it for you tonight."

...

The next morning Brad woke up to find Calpurnia sleeping in her crib next to the bed and his hand on Magenta's-FUCK. He leapt out of bed, trying to come up with a speech that he would give her, 'Oh yeah, I was subconsciously feeling you up all night, while you were in intense pain, unable to move without wanting to die, I took advantage of the fact that you didn't feel like getting dressed because you trusted me so I felt you up while you were sleeping. You look beautiful, by the way'. That wasn't going to work. And she was laying face-down, how the hell is that possible?

Magenta began to wake up, Brad sat next to her and hoped she wouldn't notice the palm sweat on her chest, she glanced at him,

"Hi." She whispered, smiling and leaning on her forearms to sit up,

"You feel better?"

"A little, what time is it?"

"You ask me that all the time, It's about six."

"I should get dressed, Columbia and Janet probably want me up soon anyway, and you have work."

"Not for two hours." Magenta shoved the sheets off of her body and started to sit up,

"Can you move my legs?"

"Okay..."

"I think I might as well just get up now, it'll take me long enough." Brad gently lifted her legs out of the bed, Calpurnia made a peeping noise and started to wake up, Magenta sat down in her wheelchair and Brad took Calpurnia out of her crib,

"You need help getting dressed?"

"I'm fine. Isn't your friend coming over today?"

"Yeah, unless he cancels, anyway."

"Okay, and his wife is..."

"Babysitting Calpurnia today."

Magenta smiled, "And Janet said she'd be downstairs. Why the hell are you staring at me like that?"

"You're just so beautiful."

"Well, I'm putting clothes on, so..." Magenta smiled again,

"I'm serious, though, I love you so much."

"Even after all the shit that's happened to my body, and the fact that I'm on the verge of death, and-"

"Your body is fine, and you're not on the verge of death."

"Yes, I am. I'm terminal, you know that."

"But you're not dying."

"Not right now, but I don't expect to be alive in... December." Magenta started to put a black skirt on, "You know I'm sick and I thought you accepted it." She turned the wheelchair to face him, "And you know I have zero desire to still be alive. You know I don't want to feel like this anymore. Remember when I could walk? I hated life then, think about how it is now that I've lost that. I thought I was going to get it back after Calpurnia was born because I started to feel again but as soon as I finished speech therapy it stopped."

"You don't have to die-"

"You know this is happening."

"You're acting like it's happening now though."

"Because it is, you know why I leave my Facebook open every night?"

"So Janet can disable your account if you don't make it through the night, you told me." Brad laid Calpurnia down on their bed, "You have enough time left."

Magenta started to blindly put a shoe on her left foot, "I mean, I have a few months but I don't expect to make it to my birthday, or see Callie in preschool or... we won't be able to get married."

"How did you know-"

"You were talking about it last night, you were asleep, and you proposed to me." Magenta dried a tear that was threatening to spill over, "I was about to say yes but then I realized you were asleep and since the stroke I get lightheaded when I sit up too fast."

...

"Well, I think it's nice that we got to do this."

"I agree. 'Genta, are you okay?"

"Where are we going?" Magenta inquired, trying to avoid telling Columbia and Janet anything about the fact that Brad had denied her obvious mortality,

"Apparently the restaurant a few blocks down is wheelchair accessible and then we're going to buy superfluous clothes until about three." Janet smirked, Columbia tightened her grip on the handles of Magenta's wheelchair,

"'Genta, Lithuania called, you have another check-up tomorrow. Brad said he could take you because the car dealership won't be open this weekend."

"Yeah, she'll probably want to see if any of the other nerves are dying."

"Were you okay last night?"

"After a while, Brad was sweet, he just put me in bed and sat with me until I fell asleep."

Columbia stopped walking, "You feel better now, right?"

"I'm fine. You don't have to ask every five minutes, you know."

Janet was starting to look uncomfortable and Columbia thought up a response, "I'm just worried, last night was pretty bad so I want to know-"

"Okay." Janet announced, "We're here, let's just try to be civil."

...

Ralph came into Brad's office unannounced, he just threw the door open,

"So, what should I wear tonight?"

"You sound like a woman. Just try not to look like a slob, my mother's coming and you're her favourite person to judge."

"Betty called, she says Calpurnia's a little angel."

"So, wait, Betty's pregnant?"

"Yeah, it's a boy."

"My experiences with pregnancy have been less than satisfactory."

"What happened with Magenta?"

"The day before she gave birth she lost the use of her legs, it was weird, it was kind of overnight but we'd seen it coming. And she had seizures for the first few weeks."

"Shit. Hopefully that doesn't happen to Betty."

"It won't, honestly, Magenta had it because of the disease she has which is limited to her family" Brad tried to keep up the lie about Transylvanian DNA and continued, "I hope it doesn't fuck Callie up."

"She'll be fine." said Ralph, "Where's Magenta now?"

"She went out with Janet and Columbia, they went shopping like she'll be alive for a while. I don't even know why they're doing that."

"Maybe they just want to make her feel normal."

"That's actually a good point."

"I'm not just a pretty face."

...

When Brad got home, the house actually looked nice, nice meaning it was missing the hospice-y atmosphere, Magenta and Columbia were standing next to the stove, actually, Columbia was standing, but Magenta was sitting next to her and it looked like they were both actively involved in making dinner. Janet was setting the table, the three of them looked up when he came through the door, Magenta actually smiled and he didn't smell burning which suggested Columbia hadn't murdered the food, maybe it was because Magenta was helping.

"Ralph said he and Betty will be over in about half an hour with Calpurnia." said Janet, "Dinner's almost done, Magenta only needed one shot today, which is good, considering last night-" Janet's voice trailed off, "So, anyway, how was work."

...

Ralph looked incredulously around the room at dinner, Magenta was holding Calpurnia and Columbia was passing food around when Betty asked the question,

"So, Brad and Magenta, how long have y'all been married?"

"Uh, what?"

"I mean, y'all have this beautiful baby."

"We're not married." Magenta clarified, Brad nodded in agreement, Betty looked down at her plate.

"So how did you make Calpurnia?" Ralph inquired, staring straight at Brad and Magenta as if he wanted to burn a hole through them,

"You want us to go into detail?"

"I see how it is." Brad snapped in a protective way, "It's because she's paralyzed."

Magenta's eyes shot open in horror, Ralph tried to backtrack on what he'd said,

"I don't- That's not what I meant, what I meant was, how does it work?"

"I wasn't paralyzed when I first got pregnant."

The room fell silent and was suddenly filled with the uncomfortable noise of cutlery scritching on plates, Betty finally said something,

"Janet, the place looks great."

"Thank you, Betty, we've fixed it up since April."

"Oh yeah, after that damn tree fell through the side of the house..."

Magenta, have you ever done modelling? Because I'd take pictures of you." said Ralph, Brad shot him a warning look and he stopped. "You're... just... attractive, is all, but I'm married, so I'll shut up now, you don't look sick at all."

Brad stood up extraordinarily fast, dropping a glass and causing Calpurnia to begin to whimper. Ralph opened his mouth and Betty gave him a frustrated look,

"Thank you, Ralph." she growled, "My hair is out of place because you're stressing me out. Do you see this?" she addressed the general population of the dining room, touching her immaculate black hair, "I need to go fix this, I'll be back in a second."

The table was silent again, Magenta was staring wide-eyed at Brad, who was sweating. Janet and Columbia kept their eyes on their plates and Calpurnia obliviously fingered her cupcake shaped hat. Betty sat back down at the table with a distressed look on her face,

"I'm sorry I ruined your hair, Betty." Ralph said softly, in a guilty voice,

"Apology accepted. Magenta, before Ralph puts his foot back in his mouth, I'd just like to say that you are an inspiration to me and hopefully to everyone here."

"I'm sorry...?"

"You are so strong for enduring all of this pain and you've suffered so much and I-" Betty started to choke on tears and sat back down, Magenta got an awkward look on her face, "You are beautiful, never forget that."

Brad stood up and left the table, Magenta handed Calpurnia off to Janet and followed him.


End file.
